Pain I don't say out loud

There are some nights of autumn

Whence the breeze velocity is same as the moles

Of emotion protruding

The furrowed pain inside me

Everything in me was silent,

The sparkling music of my heart

Went dead like a misplaced music box

Reciprocating to a discordant sound

Of musical cacophony in disguise

Later, I took myself to this sunny place where

I had countless windows closed

One by one to return

To a bay of scarlet-hued sky

In my flat fist palm-shaped heart,

On whither a home is built under my dissent,

The pain I don't say out loud

Builds a home inside me;

I although know the chasm of ocean like the palm of my palm,

I'm drowning under the water;

For it breathes like the fish

That drowns for the sea

I swallowed,

Cried inside me and saved inside me

As if I die in the abyss sea where I live- a conundrum

Pain has been a tearing 

Between the seams of pants

Of all that I've been.

Until when growing a bigger heart

In weaving a thicker skin;

And becoming much more than,

What we lose and what we win.

All of the sadness indices

And all the possible joy,

Grow ripe like fruits,

Chivalry is the heart

That plucks them both,

Tasting the blessing,

Of being able to feel so much at all