If I could go back

For every time that I broke down

There was a fake smile to cover the frown

I hid behind lies when things got tough 

Forced myself to think it was enough 

My tears were masked by the rain

Unseen by all, alone with my pain

Each night was a cover to hide my cries 

To keep from showing all these lies

If I could go back, I'd change it all

Stop myself from starting to fall

Consumed by hatred, I lost all sight

I knew what was wrong but it felt so right

I couldn't live without the pain

Or the anger pulsing through my vein

Each truth a lie I learned to hold 

While watching each one start to unfold

If I could go back, all that would change

These diamond lies wouldn't seem so strange 

I'd undo my lies and make them true 

Hold on tightly to all that I do

Forget the bad, and think of only each day

And what's to come, without dismay

I'd forget that I cried those tears 

Remember only every one of my fears

I'd try to be everything that I lost

Before I fell, remember the cost 

Hope for the best, and try to be

All that died when I lost me

I'd turn back time to redo all this

And relive the life I almost missed 

Only if I could turn it back

I'd find everything that I started to lack 

No longer would fake smiles appear 

They'd be true with nothing to fear 

It'd be as though it was a dream 

That came one night to make it seem 

As though this was really true 

But now there's only one thing I must do

Go back in time and erase this pain

Wash it away on rivers of rain

All this could happen if I went back

And once again in my life, I'd be on the right track.