I Am ME

I needed time to recollect:

Recollect myself from this fair world

Where I was judged for being myself.

Thirteen I happened to be just,

I learnt of my reality...

I could not think as far as the critical goes,

Yet, I could not but think about it.

Maybe I wasn’t prepared still,

Maybe I was too young

For I understood nothing at all.

And then,

When I wanted to let myself be out

in my type of clothes,

Mom would stop me,

Saying, “It is wrong.”

Time passed,

So did those old friends from my life:

They would laugh at me,

Maybe thinking I did not belong to their kind at all;

I was not human at all.

I thought not much about it,

Until I started fighting my own battle

And doubting my own self:

If I was truly the one wrong:

Wrong,

For being a man

Different from those in the crowd;

Wrong,

For letting my identity be revealed

And still be out;

Wrong...

Wrong,

For being a “trans man”

Which this perfect world doesn’t picture...

Which was how I was born.

Mom told it was wrong,

So did dad at times.

I had no one to assure me of myself

And to tell me once again

For who I was.

Maybe I was wrong...

But I did live a life infinite in one moment...

I smiled as I died

Smiled heart-fully

Knowing I was transcending into a world of peace,

Away from any restraints

To live like a king and rule my own life,

For I wanted,

Just for once,

forever the pain to exit from my life.

So I slept forever, smiling.