Heartbreak

Did your brain freeze, though you weren't on cannabis?

When the clock rewinds, and it's not about the batteries,

It makes your heart flutter,

It makes your speech stutter,

And in them, you find everything that you need.

Well, stop.

Stop, before both of you start sinking into the spiral of silent expectations,

And try to decode unspoken thoughts, read between the lines of sentences that were never written to begin with!

.

And why wouldn't you?

It is said that our anxiety is not always unwarranted, and that our bodies have evolved to use it as a way to protect ourselves from harm, that the brain sees coming from miles away.

But "the heart wants what it wants", doesn't it?

They've been victim to this cycle of getting attached, and falling apart so many times

That the idea of attraction leads to fear, more than excitement

Trying to convince themselves that they're ready to give those labels again. 

And what does that lead to? Pressure. Restraint. Assumptions that couldn't be any further from reality. 

A sea of misunderstandings, stormy enough to keep anyone from reaching the island of truth.

We were a pair of matchsticks, but I guess the passion burnt too hard and too fast for us to die out as quickly as we ignited.

You would think they're inside a chessboard, where they feel the need to sacrifice a piece of themselves with every move they make, to win the other over.

And by the time they do decide to talk things out, the Queen is already lost.

.

When I first read, that people who are lonely spend a longer time in the shower, because that's the only warmth they get to experience,

I felt it was overly dramatic,

Until I realized this morning, that I suddenly don't give a shit about my water bill anymore.

Sure, you and I would go by our days like nothing happened,

As we try to fool ourselves into playing this make- believe game of 'self love', and 'enjoying your own company',

But deep down, we both yearn for a deeper connection- someone to hold, someone to come home to.

You walk around nodding and forcing a smile, as you hear for the 50th time, "Don't worry, you'll find someone else, you're such a great guy!"

Even the thought of reinstalling dating apps tenses you up,

The idea of vomiting your likes and dislikes, and everything about yourself, all over again, to every person you match with,

Is mentally exhausting, and probably a futile effort, at best.

.

You may even travel the world, to find an escape from all of this.

But trust me,

When you're staring at the beautiful sunset on the beaches of LA,

Or sipping champagne, overlooking the mountains, atop the tallest building in Seattle,

Or walking past some of the most romantic street cafés in Paris,

Or gawking at your room inside the underwater hotel in Dubai,

You're always gonna walk out with just one thought, "I wish I could share this moment with her!"

By "her", I don't refer to the person that inspired you to write this piece.

But the one that you'd hoped to meet-

Someone who recognizes the value of what you bring to the table,

Who sees your worth, even when you are unable,

And who accepts you with all your imperfections and flaws,

Unabashed, and raw.

And you know what? Despite all of my ranting, cling on to that hope.

Hope, is what keeps the future from turning bleak.

And all it takes, is just one right swipe, one glance, one conversation,

To give you those butterflies again.