DECEMBER WITHOUT YOU

I see you standing there in plane cardigan with a glass of wine 

I keep looking at you , it seems am losing on something but I calm myself saying it’s fine ,

There are bunch of people around us , I feel only we amidst the chaos

I move my gaze ; I look out from the window my eyes measuring the extent of the darkness 

I compare it with my hollowness , an instinct rises I start my steps towards you 

Midway I stop , children running down my thoughts startled by few .

 

I turn back , I sigh and exhale out heavy breaths , my brain chasing memories 

I close my eyes am about to cry I feel a hand on my shoulder it was warmer than my pumping heart 

“ You okay ” ? your voice and I felt numb in my knees , I just wanted to run away as I wasn’t at all liking this part .

I grabbed strength , I didn’t want to look a fool infront of you , putting on a cold smile I reply 

 “ yeah am alright ” 

Deep inside I wasn’t ready to face you , turning I find your face glowing in the glint of candle light 

None of us talk for the next 2 minutes , maybe I was hoping for you to start , maybe the mutual emotions were too much apart .

And then you kill the silence , asking me how was I doing ? I reply with affirmation .

I recall of the day you left ending up our 4 year relation just because I wanted a confirmation .

It’s more than an year now , I recall the pain , I recall my state and I recall your imitation .

Maybe I was an idiot or maybe you were blind to see my love that had no limitation .

 

Yes the spring felt like out of greenery without you 

Yes it’s true the summer always felt cooler with you

The rain made me cry and long for you 

The winter didn’t excite me more as the bed felt cold without you .

As I stand here today an year after getting over , I thought I would never be able to move on 

But I can look into your eyes now , I feel nothing inside , I don’t even need an explanation after all you are already gone .

You say you are sorry for whatever happened to us , I smile and let it pass by 

I can sense something is bothering you , you ask about me seeing someone recently 

I rise my glass for a toast , cling it with yours 

Without regretting anymore and with an empowered feeling I reply that has nothing to do with you ; “ Cheers to another December without you ”.