Broken And Beyond

"Can you multitask?" She asked

Yes! Actually, I'm losing my mind and chilling with you at the same time.

With that statement, again my version of love became what my heart couldn't filter

Now that I'm going through hell, everyone around me wears angel wings.

"She has a good heart", they say" but it has been hurt ... A lot

The hardest part of all is to accept my reality

That which I can no longer run away from

As I am going through my own kind of hell, that of loving you in my sleep only to be alone when I wake up

You know, 

You were the only one able to rightly roll the dice

I broke my own rules for you to accommodate 

Little did I know you wouldn't stay till late

Sijui nini iliniambia since i was O naeza donate kila kitu kwako. Including my heart

I loved you more than you would have ever known. In fact, more than I could ever show.

But you still left even if all I ever wanted was you

I deserved someone who was willing to stay.

And just so you know, 

You hurt me so bad that the pain lost meaning

I didn't deserve that and you know it too

I was there for you always but the best you could do was to be my 'sometimes'

I've not yet let go, that I won't deny 

Even if I know it takes letting go to realize you were holding on to nothing all along

But maybe one day

I'll quit you 

One day soon enough

My heart will learn to accept what my mind already knows.