A Poem That I Deserve

Maybe, it's time I start telling myself

That I deserve a thousand flowers,

A thousand words of merry

And a thousand poems.

I deserve a sunrise,

So warm and snug.

I deserve the light

Not only when it is seeping through the night.

I don't deserve the disdain,

That I've felt all my life.

It's time I start telling myself

That I can't find love where it doesn't belong,

It doesn't hide under tangents of withering conversations

Or his eyes that lock within fruitless lies.

I can't find it in a harrowing Father

Who would rather shatter

My innocence in disguise

And think it was indeed,

Quite mercilessly wise.

It's time I start telling myself,

It's not love if I'm bleeding

It's not sultry and deceiving.

It's time I start telling myself,

If he's so cold and distant

Or vicious and resistant,



It's not a punishment that I deserve.

It's time I start believing

That pain can be familiar,

It can be tempting

But it's not what I deserve,

It's not love if I'm resenting.