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Ashamed To Be A ‘Man’
Ashamed To Be A ‘Man’

© Kalhan Safaya


4 Minutes   7.4K    91

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Yesterday was a fine day. The weather was good, the offices were on, and the rat race of the corporate world was at its pinnacle. Amidst this perfect day, something happened which made me question my sexuality and in turn made me feel ashamed of it. We have come from an age where the word ‘MAN’ figuratively translates to chivalry and strength. Is it so? I think not. Alright, so let me just get this straight up to you. As you might have lost track of the two insanely parallel things I have been thinking about until now. So, set amidst a perfect day is my story of being ashamed of being called a 'MAN'.

So, I was just chilling out with some of my friends and suddenly a friend of mine just took out his phone and showed me the picture of his girlfriend. This might seem to be pretty obvious but it’s not quite so. “She is a whore”, he lamented with his voice interlaced with chauvinism and toxic masculinity. The reason he put out this heinous comment on that girl was just that she uploaded a picture with a guy on her social media handle. That person lost himself on the fact that his so-called ‘girlfriend’ had a friend who was a ‘guy’ but the best part about this person is just not yet, he puts up pictures of himself with other girls time and again on social media. His girlfriend has never misjudged him for putting up pictures like these but once in a blue moon when her girlfriend does so. He reveals the kind of male chauvinistic pig he truly is. The species which goes by the name of ‘BOYS’ usually find it pleasure seeking when they are called, 'Playboys', 'Studs', 'P***y Slayers' or 'Ladies’ Men' and very hypocritically term girls as 'whores' if they tend to have a lot of male friends. That’s nothing but a method to feed the pride they carry in the name of ‘Testosterone’. If we look closely then we realize a flaw: a flaw in our judgement, a flaw in the air around us. We as people have failed to realize the fact that being a MAN does not make anyone a honcho and does not give any right whatsoever to be sardonic to the other sex.

Ladies and gentlemen, this wasn’t the best part yet. The moment I leveled up my tone in order to thrash his masculine pride, he dodged my argument by simply saying, "Hey man, use your penis." This is where I actually started questioning myself. This is where I felt ashamed to be called a 'MAN'. I don't want to be called a 'MAN' if it means to be sardonic to the other sex. I don't want to be called a 'MAN' if it means to be an ego-centric maniac who is nothing but a power-hungry honcho. I don't want to be called a 'MAN' if it means to hypocritically seek pleasure from labels like 'Playboy' or 'Stud'. I don't want to be a 'MAN' if it means to sexualize a woman unnecessarily just for the sake of being cool. I don't want to be a 'MAN' if it means to make fun of girls when they bear the pains of menstruation. If being a 'MAN' means being these, then I am surely ashamed to be one.

Instead of being a 'MAN' I want to be someone who doesn't treat women like mere objects. I want to be a boyfriend, who makes his girlfriend feel warm, safe and valued in his embrace. I want to be a brother, who respects his sister in all parts of her life. I want to be a friend, who understands everyone albeit the gender. I want to be a son, who makes his mother proud of being hers. So, through this story, I pledge to all the lovely ladies in my life: My girlfriend, my sister, my maa, my friends. I promise you that I will be your shield and I will be the one you expect me to be because YOU all are the ones who keep me up when I am down! YOU are the ones who make me realize what being a 'Male' is, in true terms.




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