You Too Shiva

Shiva in his abode of Kailasa got disturbed from his deep meditation. Instead of oxygen he was inhaling smoke. He also got the acrid smell of burning flesh. He opened his third eye to take a deeper look. Sky was lit up by the burning fires of dead bodies in the crematoriums of Delhi, Lucknow and Ahmedabad. The death was due to the rampaging virus. His head too felt woozy a bit. After all the load of sins and viruses washed down in the Ganges by the millions of covidiots. Luckily his throat was already blue with poison and remained unaffected by virus.

The moody emperor was supposed to usher in Ram Rajya instead he has ushered Yama Rajya. He was the one considered to be the destroyer among the trinity. Now this moody emperor was trying to unseat him. He wants to usurp all the power for himself. He can't let that happen. Shiva looked around and found Nepal and Pakistan left untouched by smoke. Across the sea Srilanka looked better. His bhakt Ravana would definitely provide temporary abode.

He then heard the bellowing of the angry buffaloes. They were slighted by the preference shown to the white and brown cows. Black animals too matter they seemed to say. He proceeded to ask Ravana to pick him up by his pushpaka vimana in a week’s time. He wanted to file a first-hand report with Vishnu, who is the protector. For that he decided to take a whistle stop tour of Bharat.

He interviewed the writer at Bangalore who has been a friend for some time now. The writer said

“let me get candid about COVID situation. The situation has become sordid. Unbelievable that PM a few months ago claimed that India did a job splendid in tackling COVID. While the leaders were in a rally COVID increased its tally. Now the leaders are made to look quite silly. The country that gave pranayama is gasping for pran vayu. Would someone one tell our leaders that pran jaye but vachan na jaye. I am told that a new type of brokers have come into being. They can get you a hospital bed for a payment. Is corruption so embedded in our genes? CM of Karnataka is not cowed down by COVID at all. He has been struck twice but recovered wisely following protocol. He hasn’t claimed consuming gomutra although he holds the saffron flag high. In Kerala too the CM came out Vijayan over COVID.” Shiva said thanks and left for the capital.

He met a professor of JNU who said “Heard in the grapevine that Harvard is doing yet another study if a Ganga snan can keep COVID under check. Also heard that India is importing Oxygen generation plants from Germany. Atmanirbharta is being given a burial along with COVID patients. To rub salt to our ego China has offered to help India in this crisis. As if this wasn’t enough a Pakistan NGO has offered assistance. Modiji hai toh mumkin hai.”

Then he went to meet his name sake in the Ministry of External Affairs Jai Shankar who said “America says Americans first and refuses to lift embargo on chemicals. Biden has trumped Howdy Modi policy” and hastily added “don’t quote me, I will lose my livelihood.” Jai further gave news that UK, Canada, US, Australia, UAE have banned flights from India. List of friends are on the increase. Hail diplomacy, thought Shiva.

He went to the Delhi High court and heard that HC has declared that they will hang anybody obstructing oxygen supply. Hangman are getting ready across country's jails, added a journalist whom Shiva met.

He went to meet the Chief Election Commissioner who informed him that they had decided to band election rallies in Bengal following PM’s declaration. Shiva chuckled t himself and thought shows their independent thinking.

He met the News Editor of NDTV who said that Home minister has claimed election rallies had nothing to do with COVID spike. He was now a nominee for ignoble prize. The news editor also added that the health minister had only ‘harsh word and’ dismissed ex-PM's advice. Possibly he could not decide whether it is wise or vice to follow it.

He met with some doctors at AIIMS and asked “Has any scientists established that COVID is nocturnal? So many states have night curfew.” He didn’t get any reply as the doctors had been asked not to comment or answer any question related to COVID.

A famous comedian in the TV told Shiva “LANCET says COVID spreads through air. Now our political leaders and other VIPs have no airs about them.” They both had a good laugh. The comedian also added that Courts in Mumbai, Delhi, Allahabad are on a high now. They have been slamming ruling governments so hard that SC wanted to come to the rescue. CJI offered an amicus ‘salve’ but he didn’t want to do rescue but decided to recuse. Shiva smiled at the subtle humor and gave the comedian a pat on the back.

Shiva then went to meet the e-commerce CEO. When the 845 PM came on TV six lakh carts were ready to be checked out said the Grofers CEO. But it was a shirsasana in that PM said lockdown must be the last resort. Does wisdom lie in the length of the beard? pondered Shiva.

With our humane oxygen policy in place our MSME's are now gasping for breath. Who will bail them out? Screamed one news paper headline. Another headline said “NIA has had a name change to National Oxygen Security. They are now busy securing oxygen express routes.” A featured article in the Bharat Times said that when piyush comes to shove you have to give it to Goyal. He called for oxygen control by the states. It has yet again created a north south divide with south having lesser population have already exercised control over oxygen intake.

A management expert at the IIM Ahmedabad remarked “Peter principle states that people rise up to the positions of incompetency.” Is our PM confirming this principle? Asked Shiva to himself.

As Shiva was writing the FIR, he thought how quickly India has achieved a vaccine paucity from being a vaccine pharmacy? Most hospitals in private sector say no stock of vaccines. Officials of Municipality in cities have achieved principality now in the COVID times. State sponsored mafia raj now prevails in COVID times. Great civilizations have vanished due to calamities. Are we on the cusp of one such?

He beseeched Vishnu to do something quickly.