What about the code

What about the code?

I remember talking about the "code" with my friends, for those of you who don't know what that is, let me explain.

The "code" can go both ways, either the girl code or the guy code, it basically means if your friend likes, liked, or dated someone, they are off limits to you! It is really a friendship thing, you will not overstep your boundaries with your friends. You will not mix love and friendship together.

I for one would never do that as I love and honor my friendships too much to ever disrespect a friend like that. I wouldn't even do it to another woman, I didn't even know as I feel that it is so disrespectful as one woman to another.

But believe me it has been done to me from "so called friends" and not just to me, but even right in front of me.

I had this "friend" that knew I had something with a guy that I had liked forever. I'm talking about crushing on him since I was 12, that's how long. She knew that I was in love with him and she knew that it didn't work out the way I had wanted it to yet we were still on and off. Even though she was supposed to be my friend and even though she knew how I felt about him, she proceeded to flirt with him every time we were all together.

I'm not talking about some coy flirting, I am talking about let me sit on your lap, goo goo eyes, run my fingers through his hair flirting right in front of me, one time even on my birthday! 

She knew how I felt about him and that I still had feelings for him, because I would share my feelings with her and all the while she was telling me how wrong he was for me! I am sorry that is not a friend, I could never hurt someone like that. You are not a friend if you blatantly flirt with your friends ex, in front of them no less, and on their birthday, that was when I realized I was done with this backstabbing "friendship"

My guy friend thinks it's okay to be able to do that, he didn't even know about the "code" so he said. I actually Google it for him, still he thought it was alright to date his ex's friends. No,it's not alright, it will never be alright, not only are you breaking up a "friendship", you are setting yourself up for disaster because in the end it will come back to bite you in the ass! 

I remember my ex brother-in-law cheated with his best friend's wife. He broke up their marriage and family and got together with this woman. Years later she left him for his best friend… Yeah, karma at its finest.

How can anyone trust you? What kind of "friend" are you? Is it all about what you want and yet, you have no consideration for another's feelings? 

I always say I am a friend to the end, I will do anything for my friends and I always try to put myself in someone's shoes. How would that feel if someone did it to me? It would hurt like hell, even if it didn't work out, even if you've been broken up for years, even if you say it's over....it still would hurt and I personally, am not into hurting another human being like that. No man or woman is worth taking down a friendship forever.

I remember my grandmother saying you'll have a lot of boyfriends in your life, they will come and go but your friends will be there for you forever.

I can attest to that as I have had many boyfriends and they are long gone but my friends, I still have them, 40 years later, that's what kind of friend I am.

So today my friends, think about the "code" Would you break it? How would you feel if your friend broke it? Would they still be a friend to you afterwards? 

This is a question for all of us to ask ourselves, who are you as a person and how important are others feelings to you?

The answer will say a lot about the kind of person you are.

"Be the change you want to see"

@treadmilltreats