Time we lost

They say, time lost can never be recovered,well I've gone out in search of it. When I find it, I'll use the time to tell you how hard it is to live without you. I'm finding it hard already and it's barely a month, what about a year? I miss your beautiful lies that sometimes I miss the bond we had. But then when I remember the disrespect I go out out at night, Iie down, look up in the sky hoping I'll find a pattern that would lead me to you for answers. Each time I end up asking myself; how did I fall in love with you? When was the last time I made you laugh? When did I ask for more? When you're dealing with fire and the fire is getting worse what's the easiest thing to do? What if you never loved me? I assume you too have questions. I hope time brings us back together for answers. They say, sometimes distance is the only way to find peace. What a lie. When I decided to leave the world us we created, maybe just maybe you had left already, our love story ended, well I ended it, I found chaos. And I thought, how was peace going to be at peace with the distance? I was bruised, what about you? When we left the world us we created, deserted I can't imagine the distance we both have covered. I was always the loyal one, committed one while you injected me with pain. Do you know how it feels like when you're injected with pain? You're lucky pain is like a loan and no matter what you do, you can't pay it back. They say, love can move worlds. I bet it's true. I was the pillar of our world. Every single day we met, you pushed me and suddenly I was down. I saw nothing but darkness. You still glowed, attracting. That's why you said, "I don't chase, I attract." I just fell in love with words you borrowed. You still attract me. Every single day, I'm down here trying to ignite the love I have for you. Sometimes I cry, but tears wont roll down my cheek. Sometimes I think of the memories we shared, but they keep fading away. Sometimes I try to get hold of your scent, but the wind keeps blowing it away. I love you despite all your doings. I have the last magic bullet with me. For you to fall in love with me again I need to know whether you changed your firewall? I've been trying for days now, but the bullets kept re-bouncing. I got hit severally, lost alot of blood. I might die. If you get to read this let me know.