The Trauma

Lekha kept staring through the peeping glass of the ICU, waiting for Kamna to regain consciousness. It was more than six hours since the surgery and Kammu was expected to open her eyes any time now.

Kammu and Lekha had grown up together and were the best of friends. Kammu had lost both her parents during the tsunami and was brought up by her uncle. If at all Kammu found any happiness in her childhood, it was due to Lekha. Kammu practically grew up in Lekha’s house and would go to her uncle’s house only for the night.

It was a rude shock for both of them, when one fine day, Kammu’s uncle finalized her wedding with a man ten years her senior. The marriage was solemnized as the groom had taken a liking to Kammu and had offered to bear all the wedding expenses himself. This had suited Kammu’s aunt who never spared a moment to grumble that Kammu was a burden on them.

Kammu left for Chennai after the wedding and Lekha’s family too had relocated when her father was posted elsewhere. Lekha however was in constant touch with her best friend, Kammu. 

Once in Chennai, far away from anyone who could support Kammu, Ahir’s attitude changed totally. She was physically and mentally abused and it was not long before Kammu realized that her husband married her not out of love, but out of lust. He had got into the habit of drinking and gambling and had borrowed heavily. Fortunately, Kammu secured a receptionist’s post in a private company, which meant that she had some income to herself. It also gave her the opportunity to be away from home and breathe the fresh air outside. It is better left unsaid that whenever Ahir fell short of cash, he would bully her and take away whatever she had.

She had not breathed a word of her sufferings to anyone, even to Lekha, but it was not long before Lekha came to know of it. Lekha having completed her course in Architecture, had joined a Green Building Certifying Agency and sheer chance brought her to Chennai to survey a few sites in and around Chennai and certify them. She had wished to spring a surprise on Kammu and had not informed her about her trip to Chennai.

Once in Chennai, she first settled down comfortably in the apartment made available to her by the clients. She had arrived late in the evening and decided to meet Kammu the next afternoon after her appointment with one of her clients. As she had a car at her disposal, after spending the morning session doing her company’s work, she asked to be driven to Kammu’s office.

The “office” was nothing great, situated in an old musty building. The passage and stairs were ill-lit and Lekha bumped into a couple of people before reaching the office. Her eyes looked out for Kammu and she was shocked to see her slender graceful friend looking pale and emaciated with her once beautiful hair covering half her face.

Kammu was startled when Lekha appeared before her and could not believe that she was truly there in person. She immediately walked up to her supervisor and took the rest of the day off and left with Lekha. Before leaving she called her friend, Vimmi to say that she was leaving the office early and so Vimmi need not wait for her while going home.

In the car, the wind blew away the hair on Kammu’s face revealing marks caused by burns. Lekha was shocked to see it. Both of them went to Lekha’s apartment to talk to each other. There, Kammu revealed all the misery she was undergoing. At first, Lekha was furious with Kammu for having kept quiet all this while and subjecting herself to torture but then sympathized with her. Who could she turn to? – Her foster parents had almost forgotten her existence once she was married. Though she may have confided in Lekha and her parents, they were not close by and could not have done much, and on the contrary, Kammu would have been exposed to more torture and harm. Kammu, herself was basically meek and lacked the guts to fight back. Lekha was horrified to know that her friend had been suffering from the day she reached Chennai, which was now almost a year!

It was time for Kammu to reach home before Ahir returned from his gallivanting, which was his normal pastime. He had borrowed money from anybody and everybody in his office and as it was salary day, he would get away from the office before someone demanded repayment.

Lekha decided to stay the night with Kammu and both of them got driven to Kammu’s home. The flat was small and sparsely furnished but Kammu had kept it spic and span and despite the trauma, she was subjected to day in and day out, she had tried to make it a “home”. 

As soon as they reached, Kammu had a wash and headed straight for the kitchen. A strict vegetarian herself, she went about thawing the chicken to roast it for dinner. Lekha could not take her eyes off her. How cool and composed was her friend! Ahir was not long in coming and when he did, the first thing he did was to snub his cigarette on her face when she opened the door. Lekha could not bear it and landed a slap on his face. Ahir was startled by this sudden reaction. Kammu did not make a sound, as she had probably got used to this kind of treatment by now.

Lekha broke into a torrent of words and started dialing the police from her mobile. Kammu immediately rushed forward and stopped her. “Let me deal with my problems, please”, she pleaded. On his part, Ahir said nothing but went inside and slammed the door behind him.

Lekha asked Kammu to drop whatever she did and walk out of the house with her. Kammu listened to her patiently but went about her work as if nothing had happened. Lekha’s outburst did not last long and when she saw that her friend was not at all inclined to be convinced, left the house and went to her apartment.

She could not sleep the whole night. She had heard and read of atrocities on women, but this was the very first time she saw it herself. She was all the more frustrated that she could do nothing to save her friend. No man would tolerate being slapped by a third person, and she wondered what Kammu may have to undergo for her action.

She spoke to her father immediately and apprised him of the situation. He was due to retire the next month. Hearing the plight of his daughter’s best friend, he planned to take leave and come down to Chennai, stay for a month, and try to set things right or move in the court for a divorce. She tried calling Kammu but got the automated reply that the phone was switched off.

She had the phone number of Vimmi, Kammu’s friend who stayed just a few blocks away from Kammu’s house. Lekha called her to see if she could get some information or help Kammu if necessary.

Vimmi did not open up immediately but after Lekha narrated the day’s incident confided that she knew about Kammu’s predicament. She had gone to her house a few days back with her brother and accosted Ahir, but came back unsuccessful. Even before Ahir could reply to them, Kammu had intervened and asked to be left alone. She did not want anyone to come in their way and spoil their peace of mind. Vimmi said that though Kammu did not want anyone’s interference or mediation, she continued being friendly with her. Every morning, she would come to Vimmi’s house and both of them would take the train to Mambalam and from there go to their offices. Vimmi worked in the same building and so they had each other’s company every day.

Lekha tossed and turned about and the villainous Ahir kept popping up every now and then before her. She was worried that he may do Kammu more harm than usual. She shuddered to think of all that Kammu had endured. All this treatment started because Kammu had refused to yield to Ahir’s wish of pleasing his boss. Lekha found it unthinkable and most unpardonable. She tried saying her prayers, but the thoughts would always go back to Kammu. In the early hours of the morning, exhausted and helpless, she dozed off.

She had another client meeting in the morning and thought that she would catch up with Kammu again at her office around 11 o’clock. She left the apartment after breakfast and was on the way to see her client when her mobile rang and a very disturbed and weeping Vimmi informed her that Kammu had been hit by a moving train when they were crossing the railway tracks that morning while going to the office.

Lekha canceled her appointment and rushed to the hospital where Kammu was admitted. Vimmi was there, totally shaken and grief-stricken. “If only I had not called out to her, it is possible that she would have been saved,” she kept repeating. Lekha gave her some water to drink and calmed her. She asked if Ahir had been informed, only to be told that he had told her that he was least bothered or concerned about what happened to her, hinting that if anything happened to her, he would be more relieved!

It was too much for Lekha to digest, but she thought of tackling him later. First, she had to console Vimmi who was constantly expressing her guilt. “How many times, I myself have warned others that when we are crossing the railway tracks, we should not shout out to others when a train is coming, as it would make them panic – and today, I have committed that blunder!! Both of us were walking on the tracks as usual as it is the shortcut from our house to the station. Normally, there is no train on that track. There was a building being constructed near the tracks and the noise of the concrete mixer muffled the sound of the speeding Rajdhani which was late today by an hour. I had seen it and moved away to safety, but Kammu was walking as if in a trance and when I called out, she turned to look at me standing wherever she was. The loco pilot applied the brakes, but she was hit on one side. The railway police got her admitted to this hospital and I am with her since then”, she briefed me as to what had happened.

Lekha told her that she could leave for office as she would now take care of Kammu but Vimmi was very reluctant and refused to go, as she felt that it was her fault that Kammu was seriously injured. She kept sobbing and was uncontrollable. Lekha let her stay and waited for the doctor to emerge from the ICU. Soon a nurse came asking for Kammu’s attendant. Lekha went forward and was told that signatures were needed on the hospital forms as she needed to be operated upon immediately. The nurse said that if Kammu was married, her husband had to sign the papers. Lekha said that as her sister, she would sign them as Kammu’s husband was not available then. After some arguments, she appeared satisfied and the process was complete. Kammu also made an advance payment of the hospital charges and the surgeon was called. 

The first opinion of the doctor was that the extent of the injury necessitated the amputation of both her left arm and leg. Some damage to the brain could also not be ruled out, but that could be confirmed only after the various tests were carried out. The amputation could not be avoided as both limbs were severely damaged.

His words sent a shudder down Lekha’s spine. Kammu’s future looked bleak. As the doctor went into the ICU again to prepare for the procedure, she called her father to update him about this tragic development, not realizing that she was within Vimmi’s earshot. As soon as Vimmi heard about the amputation, she started blaming herself all over again. Lekha asked her to keep quiet lest any policeman may hear her and book her. This sort of petrified her but resulted in her sobbing quietly.

It was nearly four in the evening and still, Kammu had not regained consciousness. Lekha was pacing up and down the corridor when a nurse came to say that Kammu had just opened her eyes. Lekha sought her permission to see her just for a minute and Vimmi also wished to accompany her. The nurse permitted only Lekha and she went in with the nurse. Lekha could not see her in this condition but steeled herself. Though Kammu’s eyes were open, they seemed lifeless. The nurse also looked up at the monitor and was shocked that in the few moments that had passed between her coming out and going into the ICU, everything had happened! Lekha watched the nurse going about the formalities and then walked out of the ICU towards Vimmi. She had made up her mind on the way. “Vimmi”, she said. “Just before she passed away, she asked me to tell you that whatever happened was because she had a blackout while crossing the tracks and not because of your calling out to her. Go home and stop feeling guilty. It was an Act of God.” Vimmi heaved a sigh of relief and kept asking her again and again wishing to be reassured that the accident was not because of her. Vimmi then sat down, cried her heart out, and then left mightily relieved.

It was now Lekha’s turn to mourn the loss of her dear friend in such a tragic way. She felt, however, that this was probably the only way Kammu could have escaped from her villainous husband. Her thoughts went to Vimmi, a young girl, who had her whole life before her. In the manner in which she felt guilty for the accident, Lekha felt that it would ruin her future. When she had entered the ICU, Kammu had already breathed her last. She decided that the soft-hearted Kammu could never bear it if Vimmi could not get over the tragedy. So she decided to tell a lie that Kammu had said that it was all her fault. This secret would now be buried with her alone.

As far as Ahir was concerned, Lekha decided to collect whatever evidence she could possibly gather and approach the concerned authorities to have him booked on the various offenses he had committed.

The loss of her friend was unbearable and irreparable, but to see her living death was worse. She slept peacefully that night with the satisfaction of having ended Vimmi’s trauma.