The Thief

A normal school day was always, for me, a super pack of a few hours. Hours of possibilities. hours of hope.

A hope for a bright future; a hope of getting a best friend. The other side of the coin was anxiety: what if nothing happens or something really bad happens today? Bad for me as a child was getting punished, struggling to make friends, and feeling isolated. Studying and School were not just a perfect equation for me. The study was just a part of it. 

Seeing teachers in beautiful sarees conversing with us in our own mother tongue Marathi, was more vibrant, and beautiful when they spoke. The school's disciplined environment was a big assurance for me that we are in a very safe environment and that we are becoming better in every sense by following most of the instructions. The Marathi language was my favorite subject in those classes, through books I met renowned poets and writers that was a window of a girl who dreamed of becoming someone like them. 

Today I can name the term Law of Attraction, but that time, without my knowledge, I really attracted all my fears, and they change my course of life as a person. Today looking back, I think i really got to know who I am, and in a way, it shaped me. But I would never ever wish that one should get into such a situation. 

I was in my 4th class. I am loved by all my teachers, especially my class teacher. I was not great but good at my studies. I never had a fear of teachers; was very sincere. Today looking back felt was little rude as well. In our school annual function was a big celebration. Most of us wanted to be part of it. I was lucky that i got selected for one dance item. I was thrilled, excited and yes proud as well that I was part of the dance. All of us were practicing for extra hours. A time came were we all were set to perform, and our dress rehearsal was going to take place. The teacher told us to bring a white saree and we did the same. After lunch break, we were supposed to show our sarees to the teacher. In that lunch break I was so excited to see what the other sarees, girls have brought. I couldn't wait but just tool one bag and opened it to see. Since all were playing outside and I was so much consumed by the performance was just thinking how all will look in those white sarees. Wearing sarees and performing that was another thrill. In all this mist bell rang and all came running inside with the teacher. This sudden entry of classmates and teachers I felt so scared that what will they think that i was opening someone's bag without asking i just hide that bag in my school bag. That I must say the biggest mistake I did in my entire life which changed me as a person. 

I could not tell anyone including my family. I was ashamed and scared about the whole thing. For two days that bag was with me, and my mother kept asking me whose bag it is and why I am carrying it. My answers were short and to the point, and I had no idea what was inside the bag beside the saree or even whose bag it was. In short, my teachers learned that I was the one who kept that bag with me. Right now, also I am putting in my words. The whole process of teacher getting to know is another story but for now yes, they got to know that their favorite student did this and in a second whole vocabulary was changed. A good student became a thief according to all around. Students were kind enough not to ask me at least at that time but my teachers decided to give me punishment. They wrote on a small black slate "I am a thief" and in all divisions of my class, they took me and made me stand on the platform. Soon after teachers, students forgot about it. Yes, may be during that time all punishments were like these only. But for me, that slate remained there with me for so many years with bold words. The worst part was even I believed what was written. All might have forgiven me, but I couldn't. I wish I could have got some counselor's help. An outspoken person like me became very anxious and conscious of everything. Many years later, I crossed the bridge of forgiveness. Today I laugh about the whole thing, thinking that nobody even bothered to ask me what exactly happened or why. 

We all have kindness in our hearts, but being kind is a choice that we are most of the time scared to make.