The Real Culprit

"Didi! Didi, open the door"

Rajji, my maid shouted from outside of the flat.

"It's only 5:30 in the morning, how come she came so early today?" Rubbing my sleepy eyes, I threw a glance at the wall clock above the door & somehow walked to the main door in the hall like a zombie.

"What Rajji, why did you come so early ...I slept at 3 in the morning...& Why were you banging the door...Isn't a call bell there..."

"Sorry didi, but I hit the bell several times, seems there is no power right now"

With her this statement I checked the power switch. She was correct.

"See. I am not lying", giving me an ear to ear on a fresh good morning, with a grin she said...

Patting her back while throwing her the same smile in return I went to get fresh.

Rajji was my maid. She was working here for the last six years since when she was in her seventh grade. First, she used to come to help her mother..but now she is full time working at my house... She was my spine in making my house move so efficiently. Because of her only, I am able to do my job along with two kids. She was like a family member now. 

Apart from that, we shared the same interests too. Like me, she was also fond of reading and writing. She wanted to be a lawyer too. So whatever she needed to pursue her interest and career, I always made sure to provide her. There was a true bonding between me and her.

After freshening up, when I reached the kitchen to inform her about the arrival of a few guests in the evening, I saw her swinging on the railing. I slowly approached her & standing beside, looked, where she was gazing at. A guy was doing exercise on the other side of the park building.

 "Hmm...impressive! unlike today's young generation he gets up early to workout". 

She kept mum…

"You know someone plays the drum very nicely in that building...

"Yeah, I have also heard that sometime in the afternoon or in the evening" with her this utterance, I looked at Rajji & bemused by her shyness.

In five years she has turned into a beautiful young lady.

"God has craved her in leisure time, Vikrant" I always say this to my husband, "She doesn't look like Tejamma's daughter."

Once my mother in law came to stay with us for a few days..she asked Tejamma...how come, your daughter is so beautiful? That day I came to know that Rajji was not Tejamma's own daughter. But she found her thrown behind some bushes in a chill winter. 

Rajji...a love child or child of a Sin? Doesn't matter at all. Tejamma found a child after 21 years of her marriage while Rajji got her parents. She was definitely a lucky one.

Whatever feature you can imagine in a beautiful girl she possesses all those...sharp face cut...curvy body...long silky hair always decorated with smelling flower string ...& sweet voice like cuckoo...just like known Hindi writer ‘Shivani’ book character. She was the epitome of 'beauty with a brain'.

"Didi... Shall I say something?" With great hesitancy, one morning she asked me...

"Ya ya..go on...what is the matter", I casually asked her while sipping green tea in the balcony.

"Actually, didi, one tuition has come to me..paying a huge fee..."

"But why do you need that? If you need money for anything, do tell me, no need to hesitate…”

“No, no didi, I don't need money...the only thing is that I can manage an hour in the evening to teach those kids…”

“Hmm...look Rajji...if you have time, do some course or indulge yourself in some creativity...don't chase money in this age, beta..."

She didn't reply anything...but her expression was shouting her mind that she was not convinced with whatever I told her.

Rajji's disagreement gave me a bad chill, so I better thought to drop this conversation... But yes! it took a space in my subconscious mind...

Few days letter she again raised the same question.

“Ok, Rajji if you think you can manage the time... Then go ahead with that..but don't let this affect your other routine..” I knew that she has made her mind and asking me was just a formality. So giving her my consent would be a better idea.

“Oh, didi..you are so understanding…”, hugging me she said with a big bright smile.

“Ok...ok...now start working...today I have an early meeting in the office..”.

While cooking, I asked her about new tuition and to my surprise, it was in the same house where she was staring at that day. A bad suspicion covered my thought.

Now Rajji was changing a lot...work wise she was like earlier but Now she started getting ready nicely...flowers in beautifully braided hair, applying a little bit of makeup while going to tuition. Now after entering into the house she goes directly to the kitchen balcony and stays there for some time. She started humming songs while doing household chores too. Lots of Hindi songs I heard her singing… 

“Mere rang me rangne Wali….”

“Mera Gora rang lei le….” & many more.

One day she was singing along with the FM...

"Wo ajnabi mere dil ko bhala bhala as laga"

“Kyo Rajji, did you find any stranger to play the guitar of your heart..."

She giggled like sunshine on this question.

Despite her new work as a tutor, she never missed her target in anything. Whether its to complete household chores or taking care of my kids...or participating in any writing event or her college classes...she tamed everything efficiently...I didn't give her the name "Jhansi Ki Rani" just like that. she was really able to win every battle of her life.

"Truly laborious fellow!"

It's been 6 months of her tuition. One morning she was looking quite pale..." “What happened Rajji? Is everything all right...?"

She didn't reply but ran towards the washroom...

Oh, fuck ... is a she....no way...

Horses of my mind started running as if they have participated in the marathon...and as they ran, raising my suspicion level too... I kept walking in the hall until and unless she came out of the washroom.

Rajji came and exploded the bomb of her Pregnancy while crying with hiccups...

My heartbeat relapses..thin film of darkness spread in front of my eyes..ears vacuumed...as if my own daughter was giving me this news… 

The bright future of Rajji...

Her sweetness

Her efficiency

Everything got vanished with a snap of a finger…

Once for a while, my mind said to throw her out but she worked to the bone for me...this is the time when I should stand beside her…

“Would he marry you?”

Her cries became louder on this question. Clearly indicating that the boy was not ready to take responsibility.

"Hmm...lets go to the hospital...Surekha is the best gynaecologist & my friend too! She will surely help us…”

Almost dragging her I rushed to the hospital...

"No complication is there in abortion, Anuradha...its only 2 days since she missed her periods so it will happen with medicine easily." I took a breath of relief.

Once again our life started in our usual way...everything started working smoothly and efficiently again but it was not the end of the problem...but the beginning of a huge one...

One morning Tejamma came running to me with two letters in her hand. Apprehension was clearly visible from her eyes. I took both the letters from her hand and started reading the first one. I read Tejamma's letter in which Rajji informed her that she got placed in a law firm in Delhi so she was going to join that. She couldn't bear the separation from her that is why she was informing her in writing. Listening to this Tejamma calmed down but my heart didn't accept this. Reclaiming my phone from my son's hand I started calling Rajji's phone but for a few calls, the ring was going but she was not picking up the phone & after some time the Phone got switched off... What the hell is this? ... I threw the phone with all my might, down on the floor...how could she do this to me...for a long time I kept putting in rage, mumbling, cursing her...The result--all this gave me a headache..somehow I prepared my kids & sent them to school. Vikrant got ready to drop them today while going to his office, as in the morning hue and cry, kids left their school bus.

Somehow I sent kids and husband to their respective places & informed my office via email about taking my day off.

Sips of hot ginger tea were even not able to soothen me from today's trauma. Although the view from my balcony was so nice but not that much nice to calm me down...every time I sit in the balcony with a tea and watch down from 18th floor gives me a feeling as if the whole world is in my feet. What a silly thought... I sort of chided my self! I can't even hold a girl back with me & talking about the whole world. Huh...Dream of sheikh chilli. As the lightning strikes in the thundering sky, in the same way, the thought of another letter came into my mind...Putting down the teacup on the nearby small table, I ran to fetch another letter…

Oh my God! I couldn't believe whatever was written in the letter...while reading that I rushed to Rajji's desktop...and switched it on ...password secured! ..how come, prior it was not like this...tried 2..3 attempted to crack the password but failed... I get back to the letter..& reread it thoroughly... No clue about the password what would be this...turned the page & found that...it was 6 digits number, a combination of me & my kids birthday ...191205...oh man! In this huss also, she showed her fondness for us ... I rushed to the desktop again and feeding the password saw the video file mentioned in the letter...my mouth was struck in awe... Letter fell down from my hand to the ground...for a while I got lost in the thought..who should I believe...

The caring behaviour is shown to me till now or this video evidence.....

That girl or him...

This video clip was enough to drain all the energy from my body...I was not able to think about what I should do..whose side I should take...there was an emotional relationship between me and Rajji...but here the culprit was my husband...my kid's father...who nicely kept his sin under the wrap...how foolish I was that I blindly trusted him and every time when I was asked to check the CCTV...didn't check ever myself...always asked him to keep an eye on that. It's like I gave evidence to the culprit to erase it.

Lost in this thought I took the phone & called Rajji. This time she responded...

"You silly girl...why didn't you tell me...."

She started sobbing...

"Where are you going? Did you really got the job..."

"Yeah... Last month I applied for this and got it."

"Since when it was happening to you?" I asked her in a very low voice as if I don't want to hear that myself too...

"It's been 6 months didi...when the first time it happened I thought that he did while drunk. Another day he felt sorry too but 3 days back it happened again and this time he was not drunk at all. That day I told him to thank God that you are his wife...else he would have seen what could I do?

"Do you have money?....to stay anywhere for a month..." With a heavy chest, I tried to change the topic.

"Yes, I do have, you just don't worry ...Abhimanyu from the front building opened my account in a bank & every month, transfer the tuition fee in that instead of giving the cash."

“Abhimanyu?" 

“The boy you admire from afar...di"

How foolish I was... I considered the devil as the saviour & saviour as a devil."

The boy who I thought responsible for Rajji's pregnancy was her true love, who arranged this job for her and managed everything else...and the person who I thought a parental figure for Rajji, raped her continuously in a broad daylight...

I exhale a big sigh... "Would you ever forgive me, Rajji, to not protecting you ?"... I asked her with choked throat...

"Don't say this di... I left him without saying anything just because of you and kids only...irrespective of whatever he did, he is the father of your kids. Anything done by you and me will affect kids future too... He doesn't know how lucky he is... otherwise he would have seen how would have I dragged him in the court....”

"Hmm...stay in touch Rajji", somehow I could utter this to her. Putting the phone down... I just thought about how a human being became weak because of their family..before this phone conversation I had decided that I would slam a divorce paper to Vikrant face soon.. And now thinking about kids...huh...what a useless fellow I am..."Rajji...you freed yourself from this devil and tied me in an invisible chain..."