The Paper Cutting

It feels like ages since I saw her last. As I look at the paper cutting, a face in black and white stares back at me. Those intent eyes have not stared back at me for a very long time. Where have all the years gone? I feel still very young and I miss her as I stare at her face.

I got up from the chair I was sitting on and walked towards the washroom. There was man-sized mirror affixed on the wall. As I looked at myself in the mirror, I found a weather-beaten man staring at me. So I wasn’t young any more, perhaps prematurely aged. Time must have drawn lines on her face also since I saw her last.

But where was she?

It was not that we fought. I don’t know what she discovered in me which made her leave without any address. There are no contact details of her on my phone.

The world has changed so much. Maybe I could find her on the net. I asked myself a question. Do I real want to see her. She must have completely forgotten me by now.

Yet I run a search on the net for her.

There were many people on the net with the same or similar names. For all I know she might have changed her surname after the change in her marital status. Even after so many years, I could not imagine her being with some other man. It hurt my heart more than my ego.

Then I told myself that the world had changed so much in the last few years that it may not be so difficult to locate her. I searched my memory. It must have been more than fifteen years ago when she left me.

I wondered what will I do if I did locate her. I pushed the question to the back of my mind.

I was on a holiday with a plenty of time. I was also tired of walking on the private beach of the hotel. Although it was not as crowded as public beaches, yet there were enough people around almost throughout the day.

….

In the end it was not very difficult to locate her. Just when I had almost given up, it came to me that she wanted to delve in theatre or some such creative activity. I decided to start with people in film and advertising world.

Finally, I narrowed down my search to models of that name and limited the search to the city of Mumbai, the centre of glamour world. Yes, she was very much on the net. It seems she was a successful model. There was no surname given but the face was same. I could possibly have recognised it even with eyes half-closed.

However, it was not possible to get her on the phone. So I got her address from the net and decided to travel to Mumbai.

….

I walked to the gate of her housing society next day early in the morning. I was outside the gate before 9.00 am. I did not even try to walk into the society as I was sure to be refused entry. I did not know her flat number or even the last name. Celebrities are generally referred to as first names by the media. Here all the people living were celebrities. It was best to wait outside and hope that she would recognise me.

Every time there was a movement around the gate, I would look in that direction. None of the people deigned to look in my direction. However, there was one lady walking her dog who even said hello to me. Perhaps I did belong here, but probably only on the bus-stop or maybe outside the gate of this posh society.

Around 9.30, I caught a glimpse of a car coming out of gate. Even from a distance I could recognise that it was her. As the car crossed me, I found myself looking into her eyes. For a moment I thought she recognised me. The car did slow down but again picked up speed even before I could take one step forward.

….

The same evening I was back in my place.