The Love That Happened Thrice

PART -1

Sitting in the most comfortable chair, I was still not at ease. Something inside me seemed to be creating chaos, while the surroundings were at their silent best. After hours of introspection, I realized, it was him again. His thoughts were doing the rounds over again. This had become like a drug in past one year. People surrender to a drug not because it tastes good but the after effects are heavenly. My only drug being that one person, I was high on his thoughts again. I was tapping my feet on the ground and listening to music on relatively high volume, honestly just to avoid paying any heed to the screams inside me. Suddenly, the war inside me settled down and I began with my daily routine. I put on this pretentious mask every day before stepping out. I didn’t want people to know about us. I had lost him twice and I could not afford to lose him again.

It was a sunny day and after the usual cab ride, I was in office sitting amidst loads of work. The day was passing by as usual, suddenly the blinking light of my mobile phone drew all my attention. It was a notification from my social media account. In a friction of seconds my world collapsed again. The world, that was in pieces from past one year. This had become my everyday struggle to gather all of it only to see it scattered whenever I was hit by our memories. I counted hours, minutes and then seconds to run away from everybody and go back to my space. It took me almost an hour that day to reach home, though it usually is a thirty minutes’ drive. Every bit of the universe appeared to be testing my patience. I was somehow holding the tears on the edge of my eyes. I didn’t want our memories to be washed away along with these saline drops. I have had brawls with myself over giving you the biggest room in my heart. “How will I live with this massive vacuum inside me if I let you go?” I questioned my inner self. I took a deep breath and convinced myself to hold on to these water drops until I was home.

Finally, the cab stopped in front of my society’s gate. I got down and rushed to my apartment which was on the second floor, at lightning fast speed. Nothing seemed to be working right today, keys dropped off my hands twice. I was not able to open a basic lock. I finally managed to step in my house. I shut the door with a loud bang and I saw Cocoa running towards me. Oh, well Cocoa is my pet dog. He is the one who held me when I thought I was losing against life. He brought life back to me. If only Cocoa could converse like us humans, he would have spilled the beans about everything in my life. He is my secret keeper. Thank God, Cocoa is not like humans, not because we don’t speak the same language but for the reason that the level of fidelity he assures is nowhere close to what we humans can promise. Cocoa licked my face, not allowing me to shed even a single drop of tear. He could sense that the thing I have been dreading everyday has finally nullified the left over pieces of hope. That one moment was crammed with numerous emotions, some of them I had never touched before.