The Interview

Dhruv was searching for a white shirt. He never expected he will wear a white shirt. So, it was not out of the ordinary when he could not find one in his wardrobe. He did not have to worry as he knew one person who had a stock of them, his Dad. He wore a white shirt and black pants all day every day. It was so consistent that if one meets his father continuously for a week, they will lose consciousness for days, thanks to Deja Vu created by the uniform dress. But Dhruv cannot ask his father for a shirt. So, Dhruv went to his mother for help, walking like a cat hiding from the eyes of his father. Walking back with a shirt in hand and ear full of advice about fashion from mother, Dhruv noticed the shirt for the first time. He could not believe the condition of it, it looked as if taken just out of the cover. For the world of Zuckerberg's attending interviews and meetings in torn jeans and shape fitting t-shirts was something unfathomable. He got into the shirt and tucked in the white shirt, not just because he was attending an interview, it was long too.

He quickly reached the destination and was asked to wait in the waiting room. Seeing the crowd around him made him nervous. He was fighting all the inner ghosts which were asking him to run. It was not that Dhruv was not good at his studies. He did well to get into a prestigious institution with a scholarship. Dhruv did well academically in the first few years of college. Things took a turn one fine morning. As he was passing through the college noticeboard, he noticed the most beautiful girl in college. The rest of the college had something else to say about the girl but as they say, "Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder". Who were they to judge? Doesn't a pig be allowed to like its own? From that day on, the world changed around him. He followed her everywhere, including the art class, theatre studies, and in a very short time, he turned into a writer. He was a great writer and he believed it. Every one of his friends believed him too, till the day they read his stories. 

The girl wanted to be an actress. She did everything to be one. Like eating less, wear little clothes as humanly possible and be proud of it and kill every word of the language she ever pronounced. Luck has it they became friends, its good luck or bad luck was for no one to judge. She encouraged him to write. Not because she liked him or his work. She felt he could be a good companion in the struggle for a movie chance. If luck works out, Dhruv also can turn a writer and director. There were too many bad writers in movies, one more was not going to tilt the balance of the sane world that much. It could not be worse than a cinema which gives a man a Christian funeral and then takes his ashes to Ganga. The writer in Dhruv took shape.

As was the plan both headed to the movie industry after college. She did well in the auditions at the studio and the auditions at the producers and director's guest house. All auditions had a single theme, have no barriers of clothes between the performer and the audience. It was not that hard as she was wearing very little to start with, and it was easy to get rid of them. Dhruv, on the other hand, tried everything but bending over in front of producers. Producers had too many bad writers to scrutiny, so Dhruv did not matter. Others were ready to bend over backward if required. After a struggle of a few months, Dhruv had to run back home. After a long speech from his sportive dad, who knew the best expletives Dhruv was allowed inside the home. 

The first few years of good grades meant, Dhruv still had a chance to apply for good jobs. With a little help with old objective questions online, he cleared the written. Then came the biggest hurdle, the interview. The whole fight with the white shirt was to create a good impression with the interviewer. Before Dhruv recollected all his story, the time has come for him to be called in for the interview. As he walked in the interviewer noticed Dhruv was nervous.

"Don't be nervous. You will get the job." said the interviewer.

Dhruv could not believe his ears. He asked "What?". It was happy what in Dhruv's mind, but it came out all mangled and doubtful out of his mouth.

"Yeah. There is a quota of rejections allowed for each interviewer. I crossed mine already long back. I could not take all the people whose specialization with technology was adding filters to photos and videos. Please don't tell me you too have an account with million followers because you can use 100 filters for a 30-second video."

"No, sir. I don't."

"Good start. As I said, I am going to select you anyway. Just be honest to my questions."

"Okay", said Dhruv.

Q1) Do you have any experience?

Dhruv: No

Q2) What about any final year projects?

D: Brought them from someone

Q3) What programming languages you learned in college?

D: Java, Python, C++

Q4) Good. How good are you with them?

D: I don't remember any of them.

Q5) Are you good with communication with the team

D: No.

Q6) Tell me what your weaknesses are?

D: That will be a long list. I don't think you have that much time.

Q7) What are your strengths

D: I write fictional stories

The interviewer says a thank you and asks Dhruv to leave. Walking out from there, Dhruv started to think. What if all this was a ploy by the interviewer. He had a different set of answers for all the questions, including something about oops. He remembered that oops well. After searching google for oops and getting distracted with some Bollywood pictures, he learned OOPs had nothing to do with Alia and it was related to Java. Well, he had no chance to tell the interviewer that. Now he had no option but to wait to know if he was made a complete fool.

The results came that evening, and Dhruv got selected. He left the premises and stopped at the tea shop opposite for a tea. Luck had it that the interviewer was there too. He thanked him profusely. The interviewer congratulated Dhruv, and they both chatted for a while. The man even paid for the tea and snacks they had. Dhruv wanted to know why he was selected. But he was worried about how it was to be read, so he stopped himself. Finally, the time to leave the shop had arrived. Dhruv took the man's permission to leave and thanked him before leaving. A few feet towards his bike, the interviewer stopped Dhruv and said.

"Do you want to know why I selected you? "

Dhruv does not want to be too anxious. So, he replied, "As you told me it was as per the quota".

"No. I selected as you know to write fictional stories."

Dhruv was thinking, how will that help me in the software industry.

"I know your doubt, how will that help you here?", said the man.

Dhruv did not know how to react to the news and stared with a blank face.

"Well, I need someone to write status reports to the boss every week. It could use some masala to show a negative as the greatest thing. Like how they show someone stealing money all the movie as a great man at the end of the movie. You should keep the suspense intact."

Dhruv still confused.

"Read the vaccination reports. It is wavering around 92-95%. In reality, it means nothing. But giving a high percentage, people are given hope. That is how you give a good status report."

P.S.: Dhruv now has a new headache. He was not sure his stories will be well received. He started to take the help of google for the same. But writing a status report was not as easy as copying a Korean or French movie. It was like the part that comes after the movie release, giving interviews to the world about how you got the idea. A simple answer downloaded a torrent needs to be explained for hours in words that make you sound intellectual.