Turn the Page, Turn the Life | A Writer’s Battle for Survival | Help Her Win
Turn the Page, Turn the Life | A Writer’s Battle for Survival | Help Her Win

The Broken Dreams

The Broken Dreams

3 mins

I was born in Piplantri village in Rajasthan, the place only famous for it's female feticide rate. The slogans like 'Beti Bachao Beti Padhao' are considered to be a myth here. No one wants a girl child & the whole village is infected with same mentality 'Girl child- A burden to family'. Few weeks back I also joined the girl haters list but my reason is different.

My Grandfather never respected my Grandmother. My father inherited same nature from his father. My Grandmother & my Mother were more like their slave than their other halves. My Grandmother & Mother's only work was to clean the home, iron clothes, prepare food on time for the men in house & of course, satisfy their sexual needs. My grandfather was considered to be so lucky as he had two sons, but no one knows the dark secret behind it, my grandmother underwent nine abortions just to satisfy my grandfather utter desire to have a male child. My father was unlucky in that aspect, I was bought to world only because my mother had complications in abortion, that can further result in sterility. When I was born no one even smiled a bit after seeing me, instead my father drank that whole night cursing himself. After one year I had a younger brother & the celebration was grand. My grandmother used to tell my brother that they invited the whole village for that party, that time Diwali was celebrated at my home in the month of January. As I grew up I understood the difference of being a girl child. Though I was better in every aspect when compared to my brother, I was never appreciated. I didn't even realize when my younger brother became the elder one in house & started commanding me. But these things didn't bother me much as mostly I was engaged in my studies. I wanted to be a journalist. I used to get goose bumps whenever I saw some lady journalist on television. I always wanted to be on the other side, not knowing that the worst was yet to come.

One day when I came back from school, I came to know that my marriage was fixed. All my dreams were shattered in a blink of an eye. I tried to resist & was beaten ruthlessly by my father & brother, I stood strong till they tried an alternate plan. My body still shivers when I think about those terrible long 5 days. It was the month of June & the hotness was at it's peak. One night they sedated me & when I gained consciousness, I found myself chained to a water tank rod on the roof of an abandoned building. The chain around my neck was so heavy that it was difficult for me to lift up my chin also. I was beaten with live electric wire & whenever I asked for water, they gave me hot water to drink, for the next 5 days the same routine continued & at last a 15 year old girl had to give up to such brutal punishment. Soon I got married to a 30 year old man & the chain marks around my neck were hidden by a big Mangalsutra that felt heavier than chain. I don't want to describe again about my in laws & my husband as you can imagine their mentality when they told YES to marry an underage girl. What happened next was not new for me, I had already seen that for 15 years in my own house, the only difference was that, this time I was the one experiencing it.

I am two months pregnant now & everyday I pray to god not to bless my womb with a GIRL CHILD.

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