Me, Crab And The Bucket!

All my life I never had a goal or maybe I had goals but they were never my own. I was in a bucket with a crab. Taking that crab out of the bucket was my only goal.

All of this started in X class when I failed the first time. I secured 76% marks but my parents' expectations were at least 85%, and that day I realized that I have failed them. Soon it became an obsession, now my only goal in life was to prove to them that I was a worthy son. I wanted to see the happiness on their face because of me, so their expectation became my goals. Bring 90% in XII, clear IIT, get a good job, and then buy a luxury house, car, etc.

But I failed miserably. Got 65% in XII, dropped out for one year after XII to prepare for IIT but again failed in that too. I got a college seat through donation and it was really a good college. As the college got over, I didn't get any campus placement. All my friends were placed except me. Later I got an off-campus job which paid very little. Whenever my parents fought over financial issues or every year when we shifted the house after the rent contract got expired, I felt like I have failed to be a good son.

Now I am 28, and I have realized that my goal was not to take that crab out of the bucket. Instead, it was me who was trying to get out of the bucket, and whenever I was on the extreme edge of the bucket the crab always pulled me down. I always worked on to fulfill my parents' dream, instead if I would have worked hard for my dreams, confronting them that 'this is what I want to do with my life', maybe the resolution of my story could have been different.