The Birth Of A Murderer

"I can't say, I don't know! I need time to think", I said these words as I hurriedly left the restaurant.

Just another chilly Sunday evening in winters, as I was slowly walking through this crowded lane. It wasn't a crowded lane per se, but it had people walking in random directions even though the lane was bidirectional. I have never understood the idea of walking aimlessly. It's like you're desperately searching for something, but you're amusingly aimless, so how can you even be searching? Very paradoxical, beyond the powers of my understanding embodied inside my 1400cc brain (hey! I read that in biology class!).

The lane seemed to be continuously narrowing down, yet whenever I looked around; the width was still the same. This 'lane' was a semi-shopping district.  Small shops would mushroom out of nowhere. It just kept giving a sense of gloom even though, the place was well lit and bright. I was thinking of buying myself a...

"DO NOT MOVE."

A deep voice hits my ears as something round yet sharp is being pressed against my stiff back. I have already screamed thrice, internally.

"Look straight! Do not move! Don't turn around!"

The absolute suddenness of the moment had stolen away my presence of mind, which I must confess, never existed. Hurriedly, as I processed what that man said, I did the exact opposite of what he asked me not to. I turned around.

The man is tall and I could see a masquerade mask on his face instead of eyes or a nose. Somehow, the vicious grin visible from below the mask is familiar. As I describe this, it might seem like it was a long moment of me staring at him, but in reality it was just a few microseconds.

He presses the sharp object against my back, harder.  I have assumed it to be a gun. I am terrified beyond words. What else could it be?

"You want to die?"

I didn't even realize what he was saying. I had absolutely lost all senses, and all I could feel was winter itching me more intensely. I simply let out a, "No." It was a mindless reply. I didn't even know what he was saying.

"Start walking. Not left, not right. STRAIGHT!"

I did as he commanded.

Could this be the end? Will he shoot me? Am I going to die? What'll he do with me? I...what of my family? Will they ever get to know what happened to me?

All such thoughts had clogged my brain.

 

I was still walking. Actually, I had taken just 5 or 6 steps. I started to regain my thinking abilities.

Maybe I could speedily turn around, snatch the gun, and point it at him, BANG! Or, simply, I could punch him. I could shout and draw the crowd's attention!

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA"

What? What's with his laughter? Why is he laughing? I've heard this before.

"Oh my god Sanshi! You're so stupid! Hahaha!"

"WHAT?"

I didn't just say that in my mind, but even out loud. How does he know my name? And, not just that! He is addressing me with that stupid nickname, which only one person calls me with. Could this be...?

"...Dev?” I say this as I turn around to face him. Yes. It is him. Dev! Dev Mehra, 25, son of a hard working father and most importantly, my ex.

He is still laughing stupidly as he slowly removes his stupid-godforsaken-mask. I protest, “Are you serious?" My face is red, not in anger, but because of the blood rushing in my facial area, all thanks to the cold, biting me tighter.

"Oh my God! Hahahaha! Dumb head. How are you?"

We talk frequently over text but it's the first time in eight months since I saw him face to face, after our break up. It didn't feel awkward, not at all. I mean, we chose to be friends. He says our relationship is different and that cutting all ties would lead to an imbalance in the already messed up universe. We are good friends now, but for some reason, we never met (don't ask me why!). As I think all this, I realize, I haven't yet replied.

"I'm great as always! Long time. What are you doing here?"

He flashes his mask and that pointy object which he was pressing against my back, an iron candle stand. He, still recovering from the laughter, answers.

"Preparing for a birthday party!"

"Birthday? Whose?"

"No one's"

"What?"

"Hahaha, I'll tell you if you're lucky! You'll know. What about you? Why are you here?"

I ponder for a while and then reply.

"Aimlessly searching for something."

"What?"

"I'll tell you if you're lucky!",I reply in a mocking tone.

“Gosh, tell me?"

"Ahaha, nothing, sorry. Was just kidding I just happen to be here by chance, nothing special."

"Okaaaaay, shall I walk you to your place?"

"Oh no no! It's fine! "

"Sanshi, trust me, it’s okay"

"Uhmmm okay."

 

I start walking briskly while he tries to match my pace.

"Come with me, I know a shorter way."

That's Dev Mehra showing off his map-reading-directions-blah-blah skills. Or rather, I'm just stupid to not know the shorter route.

Dev and I are talking casually and normally, like we do on text. My heart has stopped pounding and is now pumping blood at a perfect 72 pulse rate (biology class!). How do I tell Dev, I was with my boyfriend, in a restaurant? It'll blow the daylights (moonlights?) out of him. Dev and I talk about everything except for my love life.  He knows everything about me, except 'that'. I've found someone else in my life. Should I tell him? What if it breaks his heart? Well, his heart is already broken since I left him. It was easy to lie to him than to crush him. Plus, I never met Dev after our break up, so it was easier to lie. Despite the fact that I never loved him, I have a soft corner for Dev, that which you have for a friend.

"So whom are you dating?"

WHAT?? What the Hell did he just say? Did he just read my mind? Oh my God! What do I say? What do I say?

"I...Dev... I'm not...dating...dating anyone."

"Arre! Then say it no! Why are you being so sheepish?"

He's right. I need to lie with confidence. He'll know and see through my lie in an instant if I be 'sheepish'.

"Ha-ha sorry! It's just this unfamiliar route which had absorbed all my attention. Where are we?"

Seriously, where are we?

"This is like, one kilometer from where you live, towards the north"

Show off.

I speak, "really?"

"Do you doubt MY sense of direction?"

I let out a 'sheepish' laughter.

"Naaaaah, sorry."

"Third."

"What?"

"Third, it's the third time you've said sorry to me. Can you stop it, Sanshi?"

"Haha, I'm so sorry! Oops!"

 

My mood is light now. I'm feeling better.

*SLAM!*

AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH

Wha...t even is...this...excruciating pain?

*SLAM*

AHAAAAHHHAAAAAA

I...I... I'm...

 

-------

 

I open my eyes, though I still can't see anything. My eyes slowly adjust to the low-light conditions. I see the silhouette of a man, must be Dev. My head...it hurts. It's killing me.

 That silhouette gets up and walks towards me. It's Dev. I am still very dizzy and wrapped in pain.

"D-d-d-d-dev?"

"Why did you do it? Why?"

His weeping voice pierced through my ear drums as if shattering them apart. What even has happened to me? Why am I lying on this...wherever this muddy ground is? Why am I hit? Was it Dev?

Ouch!

"WHY DID YOU DO IT SANSHIKA???"

He lets out a shout.

"Wha...t's happening?"

"You left me for that fucking bastard? Where did I go wrong?"

His weeping worsens, so much; I am failing to comprehend what he's saying. And this pain! Ahhhh!

"I gave up my parents, I gave up my job, I gave up everything, I gave up...almost gave up on my life! ALL BECAUSE OF YOU."

What's he saying?

"YOU! YOU! You damned woman! That night you broke up with me, and the next night you slept with that measly bastard? How the...?"

*SLAM!*

He slaps my face again with the iron candle stand. I am in an unimaginable pain. Why is he doing this? Why am I crying? My tears are begging Dev for my life.

"Dev, listen...to me. Dev..."

"Listen to what, another lie? I stalked you for 8 fucking months only to see you making love with that bastard?” his voice goes low and slowly rises again,

“You lied! You lied! You lied! You lied! I kept hoping you'd come back to me, but okay! Never mind! You still lied? You fucked with that jerk for so long thinking I'd never find out?! That you've guarded your clandestine romance perfectly? Woah oh! NO."

"Dev it's...not so..."

"You wench! You used me, and now you're using him. He proposed you today for marriage, didn't he? Tell me, didn't he?"

"Dev...Listen"

"And you rotten woman, you lied again today, when I asked you!"

"Dev...!"

He stops. My tears mix with the blood oozing out from my left eye and nose, and from other parts of my body which I can't sense anymore. My breathing mellows. He inhales deeply, as if he might swallow the atmosphere. He starts speaking again.

"One kilometer away from your home? This place is miles away. Nobody will ever see your rotting body left here. Oh! And you are very lucky...” he half-smiles,” …you were asking me whose birthday it is today, right? "

*SLAM!*

"The birth of a murderer."