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Raju Ganapathy

Comedy


3  

Raju Ganapathy

Comedy


Tales Of Modern India Dog Poop

Tales Of Modern India Dog Poop

4 mins 229 4 mins 229

There was a gathering of activists at the famous Freedom Park in Bangalore. They had gathered there to protest against dog poop that is found everywhere in the city and spoiling the beauty of the cosmopolitan look. They wanted a total ban. It was the same venue that became famous when freedom fighters had gathered and begged the British government to give the country independence. This was the new folklore that is being propagated currently. Overnight Gandhi, Nehru, Sardar became beggars among several others. Now Modiji stands tall as the statue he has built on the banks of the Narmada. 

A week later after the activists had gathered, dog owners too had gathered to protest for the right of the dogs to poop on the road. They also claimed that it was impossible to distinguish between the poop of their pets and that of the street dogs. To which some activists had a suggestion that unemployed youths who are in plenty nowadays can be gainfully employed to monitor who poops and where. In fact, given the nerd quotient in the city, a suitable app can also be developed for the use of pet owners. They also went on to say that dogs should be neutered so that over time their population comes down and the city becomes free of dog poop. There was a howl of protest not only from the street dogs but from humans as well. Right for propagation is implicit in the right to live and the right to make love and one cannot inflict such cruelty on the animals. Why single out dogs they further claimed? What about cats? They can happily litter but dogs cannot! They went on to argue further dogs have remained a part of human life as stated in some scriptures. For example, in Mahabharat Yudhistra refused to abandon his dog for his own happiness. But it so happens it was the deity Dharma who took the form of a dog and praised Yudhistra’s virtues.  


Some argued that dog poop alone was not a sore sight but also cows and bulls that stray on the streets create a mess and, in some cases, especially among railway tracks humans too practice the open bowel movements (OBM). To the last comment, bhakts took exception stating that PM had already declared India to be open defecation free and it must be accepted. It is only some anti-national that continue to practice OBM to spoil the name of the country. 

Now street dogs had no constituency of their own and neither had their masters’ voice. They howled day and night and added to the noise pollution. 

The matter came up in the cabinet meeting and the law minister who himself owned a couple of pet dogs but smart as a cat suggested that the matter be referred to the esteemed judges of the high court. Once the high court gives some directions the matter can be legislated if that was the direction the judges give. 

But the judges were in no mood to take up this case. They said that dog poop is found all over India and it is better than the SC takes up as a suo-moto case. The SC maintained that they were already gasping for breath under the pile of the backlog of cases. For example, one learned judge said that the case against demonetization has yet to be taken up never mind the fact that 5 years have passed. Then there was the case of national importance in the abrogation of Art 370, one against and for CAA. To add to it one Sadvi had filed a case against playing loudspeakers from holy shrines. She had contested that one man’s prayer is another’s curse. Then there was the case about PM whether he cares or not and the fund accumulated is a public fund or not. 

So, the case was bounced back to HC and from the HC back to the cabinet. In the meanwhile, the bitcoin scam came up for scrutiny. The opposition said that it wasn’t one bit but a major one that can bite the government. 

And so, life continues. The street dogs continue to poop on the streets and owners continue with their way of letting their pet poop on the street. 


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