OF LOVE BETRAYED

         

Bbrr …brrr….brrr…. the phone was vibrating on his bedside table. 11.30 pm. Was it her? At this time? But why was she surprised? Hadn’t it been a pattern for the last few days? She would ring up anytime of the day -or night. He was fast asleep.

She wanted to shake him, when he stirred. By this time, the phone had danced itself to the corner and was about to topple over, but his hand grasped it at the last minute.

Squinting to see who the caller was, he sat up. It was her. Nothing else would have made him answer the call.

“Hello” …he mumbled into the phone.

“Where? …...You have planned a surprise?”

“Ok! See you soon”, he smiled into the phone.

He closed the call and got up to get dressed. Oh ho! So, Madam calls …and off he goes! No demur, no reluctance…nothing. She remembered his resistance when she, though very rarely, had begged him to go out for long drives at night. Just the two of them. No children, just them. Romantic drive……. to ignite that elusive spark of romance which had been snuffed out by his strange hesitation to be alone with her …. and surprise! surprise ……he had always been tired. Long day at work, etc, etc. ….and so, it was always back to her side of the bed, turned away from him to hide a face saturated with the unshed tears.

She followed him out of the house, keeping in dark shadows. He drove to a nearby five-star hotel and sure enough, there she was, waiting for him in the lobby. She hid behind an arrangement of potted plants and saw both of them greet each other with a kiss, separate and murmur something to each other. They turned, he with his hand guiding her lightly towards the bank of lifts. He was absent mindedly rubbing her back, just the way he used to do her’s when things were different.

So, she has booked a room for them today? This was not expected. They had never been this brazen till now, they seemed to have thrown caution to the winds……. Hmmmm!

Oh! What a romantic set up! Wine chilling in the cooler, small bites laid out, the bed with its inevitable towel show- two swans locked in a heart shape.

A night of passion will follow.

She quietly withdrew and hurried home. No time to lose. Hurry. Hurry. Children were at home- Tanya, their twelve-year-old daughter and Aarav, their son, ten years old. She entered the house without making any sound. Lulu, their two-year-old golden retriever, sensing her presence stood up on her mat, ears cocked and came to her. She petted Lulu absentmindedly, who rolled on the ground for a belly rub ….and followed her towards the children’s room.

They both were sleeping. She sighed with relief and looked down at their cherubic faces, peaceful and rested; chests rhythmically rising and falling, their small bodies flat on their backs, under their comforter.

She looked around the room. Everything was in its place. Children had grown up, she mused. Not like the times, when she or Vishal would stumble over an unseen car or a doll lying about unpicked. Of course, now they were out of that phase, but even then, their books, their puzzles, racquets, and other odds and ends were always strewn about.

But not today. Things were in their place. She picked up a stray ball and put it in its basket; and went to close Tanya’s drawing book. Glancing at the unfinished drawing, she saw Tanya had again drawn her family. There they were- Vishal, Rohini, Tanya, Aarav and Lulu. Laughing, huddled together…...a happy family! Oh yes, they certainly were, till Rohini had discovered Vishal’s deceit.

They seemed to have grown up in these past few days. She knew, of course that it was her wistful thinking, but to her eyes they looked older somehow, mature…... as if they had left their innocence and childhood behind. She thanked her astute move of hiring Leela some years back, their cook and household help who was now like their second mother; she was relieved that she had nothing to worry about …. she hoped!

Straightening up their bed covers, she pecked their cheeks with a light kiss and softly left the room. Lulu was waiting for her at the door. She followed her to the living room. Rohini sank down on her favourite chair a dark blue, high back velvet upholstered chair, which she had insisted on buying; as usual Vishal had opposed it. She stroked Lulu’s head who had plopped herself down next to her feet. The house was silent. She could have wept. Vishal had left the kids alone in the house. Yes, technically Leela was there, but she was in her quarters far away, next to the kitchen.

She slouched back into the chair. Hazy light from the street lamps streamed into the room and through the sheer lace curtains (another of her buy). She shivered as a slight breeze wafted in. The light fell on the silver photo frame placed on the further most corner of the mantelpiece. Vishal and her, laughing into the camera, his hand on her shoulders, cradling her to him. Honeymoon. She glanced at the picture next to it. Four of them, taken a few years back. Children looked adorable; gap-toothed smiles splitting their faces. Vishal and her too looked young, carefree. Those were the heady days; they were still in love, enjoyed being with each other and were a happy family.

Till She had entered their lives. Vixen. Witch. Shrew. Harpy. Cow. Harridan. Hell-cat. Riya. If truth be told, Rohini till date didn’t know when Riya had made an appearance. Hard to pinpoint, but she had started noticing tiny bits of change in Vishal’s behaviour and demeanour. He had suddenly become a dandy. A person, who couldn’t be bothered about how he looked beyond being presentable, had started to take a keen interest in dressing up. A complete revamp of his wardrobe had followed. She was surprised but happy too; so, he had finally understood what she had been trying to tell him for years!

Then the change in his routine. He had started coming home late. He had his own HVAC firm, and had sites all over the city. Air Conditioning is always in demand, especially in a coastal city like Mumbai, so it kept him fairly busy and the money was not too bad either. So, given the demand of his type of work, she had not read too much into his late nights.

He was now always short of time….and with her too. Puzzling. Simple query also got snapped at. She attributed all this to his work pressure and client demands …...till she saw the message blinking on his screen one day. He had gone for his bath; the mobile was on his night stand and she happened to pass by. She would not have even noticed it, may be, but for a string of red kissing smileys blazing on his locked screen.As if on auto mode, she had picked up the phone. “Darling, so we are meeting tonite.... Our usual place, yes? Done the reservations… So lkng frwd to it!! xxxxxxxxxx”.

WHAAAA……? She was rooted to the spot. Stunned, still processing what she had just read, she heard the bathroom door open and had hurriedly left the room, keeping the phone back in its place.

AAHHHH! What was happening? Vishal was having an affair? With whom? Since when? Unanswered questions teemed in her mind. Why? Why? Oh Whyyyyyyy? How could he? What was lacking in their marriage? Wasn’t she enough? She loved him, he too loved her, didn’t he? Sex had been good too. Yes…. definitely till some years back, now that she joined the dots. She was not just a homemaker, she had her own practice as a physiotherapist, was doing well too, looked after his children, managed the house and its demands, was on good terms with his family, had a healthy respect for his parents ……. So, why wasn’t she enough? Why did he want more??? What did he want more? Thoughts exploded in her mind, spiralling in a vortex of muddled emotions, anger, despair, sorrow…...pain, heart breaking pain, gut wrenching pain!

***************

Life had come to an abrupt standstill after that soul-crushing discovery. Soon, she had a name. RIYA. He was so sure that she didn’t know about his affair that he left his phone unattended anywhere; surprisingly he hadn’t changed his unlock pin and it was a just matter of time before she read all his chats. FIVE YEARS?! He had been cheating on her for five years?

Apparently, they had met around that time.... She was an interior designer? an architect? What? Oh, never mind that …they had met on some project and their affair had begun.

Oh God! when her babies were still toddlers…. she was devastated by his unfaithfulness, his subterfuge, his nonchalant attitude …

She berated herself for being blind to all his shenanigans. She had somehow, in a convoluted way, blamed herself. Was it because she was too caught up with her career? Was she not paying him any attention? Was she fat? Was she unattractive? Was it because she was out of shape? Was it because she had not been able to lose her pregnancy weight despite trying her best? Going to the gym, walking more than 10,000 steps a day, even taking some dubious pills and potions; nothing had made any difference. She remained size XXL. So, there was more of her to love, wasn’t there? Why couldn’t he see that? Was his love so shallow? Was he in some kind of denial? Had he not seen himself recently? Yes, he looked good, age sat well on him; but then he was forty-five. Was his affair with a much younger Riya an attempt to hold on to his fast-receding youthful days?

Looking back now, she thought, “Why did I not confront him then? Why did I let my scoundrel of a husband go scot-free? Why did I not ask him about her? Why did I not demand he leave her? Why did I not make him suffer? Why did I not berate him, shout at him, haul him over the coals for his infidelity? If only, if only… I had made him acknowledge it, shamefaced him…. if only…. Today, at least I would have been….”

*****************

“Vishal, I want to go to the Vaishno Devi temple.” She remembered telling him a few days back. It was a Sunday. The day they didn’t meet.

“Huh? Why this sudden urge?”

Good question.

Yes, Why? Why this sudden urge to seek blessings? What will it achieve? Will it get Vishal back to her? Will it make Vishal forget her? No. She knew the answers to both her questions. Then why this need to seek the Goddess? Ask for Her blessings? Maybe to get back the lost self-confidence to salvage her life, to start afresh? To prepare the kids for facing what was to come…... to accept a future without the constant presence of their father?

She wanted peace……peace from all this stress, this nuisance…this mess that was her marriage now …. she just wanted out with her sanity intact!

“I want to go. I have been feeling restless for some time now. I want to seek Mata’s (Divine Goddess) blessings.” “Hmmm, go ahead! Going alone or with one of your friends?”

“No alone. I was thinking this weekend.”

No offer of coming along. Nada. What had she expected?

“Whatever. Suit yourself. Call our usual car rental agency. They will send a reliable car and an experienced driver”, he said preoccupied as usual. No doubt, planning his next date with her. She had arranged for their grandparents to shift in with them for those two days.

*************

Darshan done. She had prayed …... she had prayed for wisdom, prayed for moral strength…for doing right by the children; for ensuring they don’t suffer between two warring parents; for their happiness and good life.

They were rounding the corner of the road, the car was at a high speed; she was just calling out to the driver to take it slow …when…SCREEECHHH…. , she screamed as she was lunged forward and thrown against the front seat..WHOOOSHHH…..the car skidded and turned turtle; it was dragged a few meters,…….SMAASSSHHHH…..that she was thrown sideways with such a force that the wrecked car door slammed into her body. Immense pain riddled through her. …… She felt her body slackening and bending over. Bones cracked. She felt herself choking…a weird metallic salty taste filled her mouth. Red spurt flew out. Hazy light filled her eyes…. she felt herself losing consciousness…...AAAAHHHHH…

She felt rather than saw herself being lifted, placed inside a vehicle…. lights, bright lights’, red blinking lights…. nee-naw..nee-naw..OOOOOooooo..…the siren….a vaguely familiar sound somewhere near her…jerky movements….sudden motion…….she was moving…..

She saw herself, lying on a stretcher…They had covered her with a white sheet. Hurriedly bandaged body parts peeked out, spotted with that same red …Her body was wired-up to a machine, tubes poking her nose, her mouth, the machine was making deathly noises…...lighted numbers flickering on the screen—red, green, white…zigzag lines…pouring out ….

Rohini could feel herself drifting……. the blessed relief ….no more pain, no more throbbing, no more spasms, no more pulsating stabs…. just relief……. God, look after my children. Keep them away from harm…. Let them know, I will always …. love…. them…… …. hissss…she felt herself sinking, literally. Her heart exploded …. AH…the blessed sleep. Bliss.

She was floating… All quiet. All still. The pain gone. She saw a strange streak of white light …… she saw herself drifting towards it …...merging with it …….

****************

Dawn was breaking. Enough of reverie. No more stalling. No time to waste. Lots still to do.

“Hello! Yes, this is Mr. Anup Verma. Yes, Riya’s husband.”

Pause.

“Wha….? Ma’am, who are you? What are you implying?

“Nonsense! My wife is an architect and she has gone to Delhi for a site visit. She is travelling with her colleagues. Your allegations are baseless….

“Woah…... How dare you accuse my wife of cheating? Of having an affair? We have two small children …. Ma’am, I will report you to the police. How do you know all this?”

What? Room 710? Vasant Heritage? …Yes, yes…. I will check, but if all this is baseless, I will have you….

She disconnected the call. Residents of room 710, be aware…. you are about to get your just desserts.

Soft sun rays filtered through the curtains. She had been floating between life and death for thirteen days. She was an inhabitant of the in-between two worlds for days now. Time to go. She took a last look around the house.

She saw her garlanded photograph on a table placed at a vantage point in the living room. Her favourite picture of herself. She looked happy. She was smiling at someone who was not in the frame. Vishal. Who else could it have been? After all he had been her life, her reason to live. He had been her everything. She knew the children had selected this picture to be framed. Incense sticks in their holder were placed nearby. A small diya was glowing in the dark. It had been replenished by clarified butter throughout the last thirteen days, so that it remained lighted 24/7. Her favourite jasmine flowers were kept on a platter nearby for people to shower her photograph with them.

Space had been made for people to sit. She knew her relatives, her friends, her colleagues, the neighbours would come to offer their condolences, to pray for her soul. Today was the thirteenth day- a day that marks the final day of mourning for the departed soul, according to Hindu traditions.

Her eyes in the photograph followed her out, as she opened the door and slid noiselessly out.

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