Wilted Rose

Harsh looked at his wife, confused. She was on the phone with Rohini, her sister-in-law (brother’s wife) berating her about something. Her voice was shrill and strident. This was not the Preeti he knew. His Preeti was soft spoken, gentle and kind. What had got into her, he wondered? This was the first time he had seen her this angry.

They had been married for two years now. When they first met, Harsh had been captivated by Preeti’s charm and winsome nature. When they say opposites attract, they surely know what they are talking about. He had liked her the moment he saw her. He had gone to Preeti’s place with his parents, to ‘see’ her and liked what he saw. He had found her not just beautiful, which she was; but also delightful. His reserved nature and the habit of weighing his words before speaking was in total contrast to her spontaneity which he took to immediately. His family tended to have a serious outlook, what with his father being a Judge in Sessions court and the atmosphere at home was always rather sombre, as befitting a senior judge’s home. Preeti brought a whiff of fresh air in their house and her laughter brought a smile to his face every time he heard it.

They had stayed with his parents, initially. As a fresh law graduate, he didn’t make enough money to support both of them. His parents lived in a sprawling bungalow in the heart of the city and there was enough room for all of them without getting into each other’s hair. It was a perfect arrangement, as far as he was concerned.

His mother and younger sister got along with Preeti famously. His father, however was a different story. A strict disciplinarian and a stickler for routine, he was baffled by her casual (which he thought) attitude. But she soon won him over too by her beguiling presence.

Things went smoothly at first. Happy to have found his soul mate, life looked bright and rosy. Coming home to a smiling Preeti every day, made him forget his hard day at work. She had in her quiet unassuming way taken the responsibility of running the house. His mother could not stop singing her praises and his father had taken to smile benignly at her pottering about the house. He often found his sister closeted with Preeti exchanging girly gossip. They had soon become close confidants. His parents were even talking now of retiring to their village and leading a quiet life, quite assured that their son was in good hands.

But today seeing his wife lashing out at her sister in law got him back to the present sharply. His affable wife had turned into something unrecognisable. He managed to prise the phone away from her and quieten her down. She glared at him angrily. He made her sit on the sofa to calm her down and regain composure. This was so out of the ordinary that he had no words to describe what he had just seen.

The next day was even more surprising. When he attempted to ask Preeti about the incident, she had no recollection of the same. She laughed at him for even thinking that she could have been shouting at Rohini (her sister-in-law). Perturbed, he let it past, not wanting to disturb the peace of the house. He desperately wanted to believe that it was one off occurrence. On the looks of it, everything seemed as normal as day and night, but Preeti had changed imperceptibly.

But more was in store. Once he came home to see Preeti cowering in the corner of their room. On repeated asking, Preeti confessed that his father had locked her in the room in the afternoon, because he was disturbed by her music. She complained that his father was critical of everything she said or did, and was given to bouts of anger if things didn’t go as he wanted or asked for. A genuine small mistake or an oversight offended him no end. He often punished her like a school girl. She was terrified of him and desperately wanted a home of her own. This was so absurd a charge, that he was at his wits’ end to understand what was happening.

It was as if there were two Preetis; one a docile, charming wife who went about minding her own business, and the other a scheming, vindictive person whom he could not relate to. Her violent outbursts came in too suddenly and without any warning. It became an almost everyday occurrence. There was no saying which Preeti would greet him when he came home. His parents and sister were as baffled by the situation and looked at him for an answer. His father even asked him worriedly whether everything was fine between them and were there any marital issues (as in physical relations) between them.

He had found it strange, he thought, when Preeti, in spite of her excellent credentials and education was happy being a homemaker. She had never had aspirations to work or do a job. It was fine by him; he was making enough for them to live lavishly and afford an occasional holiday. But her decision had surprised him, as her knew that her mother though a homemaker, had assisted her husband in his construction business, with maintaining accounts, managing the inflow and expenditure; in fact, even going on the site to supervise, when needed. So, it was rather surprising that his wife, who he thought would have wanted to follow in her mother’s footsteps, decided to do just the opposite and become stay-at-home-wife.

When he urged her again to rethink her decision to work, he was taken aback by her answer. She insisted that he had wanted her to sit at home and look after the family. No doubt, Preeti kept an immaculate house, managed the sundry family helps, had their meals served on time, looked into their investments and any other pesky detail that needed to be done while running the household, But now she had absolutely no recollection of the fact that he had on innumerable occasions told her to live her own life, besides just looking after them and running the house.

Preeti yearned to be a mother. She loved children and was looking forward to having one of her own. He thought, maybe this could be the solution to their problem. Motherhood will keep her busy and her violent mood swings (as he saw them) will cease. With that in mind, he approached her to talk about starting their own family. But to his massive shock, she vehemently opposed the idea and insisted that she was not ready to be a mother as yet. Still reeling by her reaction, he noticed for the first time, a slight varied inflection in her voice. It was shrill, in a high pitch, somewhat like a child. He realised that she talked in this voice whenever she was not the Preeti he knew.

He was finding it difficult to reconcile the two Preeti’s that he now saw almost on a daily basis. Anything triggered a shift in her personality. His coming late from office, could one day make her fly in a violent rage and on another day smile benignly and offer him a cup of tea. This see-sawing Preeti was difficult to fathom.

He didn’t really understand the gravity of the situation till one day, when he received a phone call from his sister, while at work. His wife was threatening to slit her wrists because of some trivial difference of opinion with his father. She was in an uncontrollable rage and difficult to control. He was aghast that she could think of taking such a drastic step over something which could have been easily resolved. This Preeti was not the person he had married!

Alarmed by the worsening condition of his wife’s mental condition and seeing his parent’s bewilderment, he decided to consult a psychologist. He was astounded to hear the word ‘split -personality’ associated with his wife. The doctor informed him that this dissociative identity disorder is usually a reaction to a trauma as a way to help a person avoid bad memories. He was further horrified to know that one cannot say which was the real Preeti. The affable person they she generally was or the shrill, aggressive Preeti that she sometimes became. This split in personality was mainly caused because of some abuse faced by the patients in their childhood, which could be sexual or emotional in nature.

Till date, Preeti had not been forthright about her family and past. She never talked about her childhood, had no memories to share which though he had found strange had glossed over it, as he had more than enough for both of them. Whenever he had tried to delve in her childhood, wanting to know her baby or even the teenage self, she had always changed the topic. He reflected, possibly, this was where the seeds of Preeti’s growing disorder if one can call it that, were sown. She refused to speak about her family and her relations. There’s was a joint family, with Preeti’s uncle’s (father’s elder brother) family, living in the same compound. Now he wanted to know more, search into her past for clues.

The therapist had advised him to sit his wife down and gently encourage her to talk about her past. Be a confidant and not judge anything that she shares. She needed to be handled with love and kindness, before it was too late

One evening, seeing his wife in a mellow mood, he decided to seize the moment. Tenderly taking her near, he probed her about her childhood. Caught in a vulnerable mood his wife for once, opened up about her past. Her outpourings came out in a rush. It was as if a dam had broken and she could not stop. He was appalled to know that she had undergone sexual abuse at the hands of their neighbour, who was a very good friend of her uncle’s (father’s brother). Her grandfather and his father had known each other since childhood. Her father and his brother had grown up with the neighbour and they considered him family. He used to come home in the afternoons, when her parents were out on work and force himself on her. She used to hurt down there.She was too young to understand and could not tell anyone what she was going through. She had taken to going to her uncle’s place in the afternoons and he used to find her there too. Ostensibly wanting to cuddle her, he used to touch her at inappropriate places done so cunningly that her aunt never noticed. She lived in fear and dreaded his appearance at their home. She had withdrawn into herself, but no one saw anything amiss as she was anyways a quiet child.

This state of affairs continued till God took pity on her and her tormentor was transferred to a different city on promotion, by his company. But the scars of those days still remained and her fear of those days made her anxious and sometimes confused about her present life.

He desperately wanted his Preeti back from whatever demons she was fighting within herself and knew he will do whatever it takes to accomplish that. The girl whom he had fallen in love with had got lost somewhere in the maze of her mind and she needed his empathy and support to overcome that. He was prepared to move mountains, if need be to see a happy carefree Preeti once again. He knew it was not an impossible dream, and with his support and love, and therapy her insecurities and fear could be laid to rest to a large extent. He was sure, with his tender love and care, his wilted rose would bloom again.

                         The End

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