My Crank Love

     

     Chapter-1    

It's was my first day of our coaching, when I saw her first time, sitting with her gang.

"Sir, won't u teach today?" I asked him. I hardly use to go there He said: "no, no one is interested today."

"Oh! I came uselessly then," she sarcastically said, “teach him, sir, he is damn interested in learning today.”

It was 25th of December, the coldness of the evening was falling on us...

So we decided to warm ourselves with hot samosas and coffee.

Having finished it off, we boys went out to celebrate that day, as it was 'Christmas Day.'

Next morning we all were invited by our teacher for Christmas party, as she was Christian. I saw her, that morning, wearing purple jacket with a white top and blue jeans... Party wasn't so good, so after it got over, we all went to have panipuri at our favorite shop, ‘Manoj'. She too came there with her friend but since us, all boys were there, she didn't find it good, so she asked her friend to take a turn and go back.

By the end of the day, I got to arrange her phone number. I texted her 'hi' introducing myself. I tried to have a conversation with her, but it ended formally, as she seemed to be not interested in talking to me.

Days passed by, I too tried not to text her. But I couldn't able to keep it for long, and I tried to tell her that I want to come in a relationship with her. She refused to it, saying that she doesn't believe in all this and neither she is interested. Asking me to look for someone better than her.....

I was amazed to find myself, as I had never been so impulsive about anything, it was the feeling which was completely out of my control to understand.

Chapter-2

Even after trying too hard to control myself and end everything here, at last, I failed. I had words with her friend Ishita, to try to convince her, to at least have a friendship with me.

And after a bit of effort, she agreed to be my friend.

That was the moment when my happiness was on the 7th cloud. Yes, yes, yes....finally, I succeeded. Her 'yes' for a friendship was like a warmth of a sun in winters morning, so soul soothing.

Soon our friendship sort of conversation started. Talking to her through texts, as she has said no for talking over the phone, but anyway, it used to make my day come alive.

Soon, our friendship got a bit better from before, as that formal terms weren't there much. She was really amazing and my liking for her was becoming more intense day-by-day.

We completed one whole month of our friendship. And, since we were stepping in the month of February, Valentine's week too rolled up.

Rose day had fallen on Sunday, and we had our class that day too. I was waiting anxiously for her, our class was from 10 a.m., and I reached 15 minutes earlier, damn, what had happened to me. I was awarded by latecomer of the year' such in my school, at our farewell party...

It was getting 10:12 a.m. and she didn't turn up, she never use to be late, in fact, she use to come before time. My heart began to sink, “what if she will not come? Even before coming I texted her good morning, and it's not marked seen yet ..." So many thoughts were coming to my mind, I was feeling like to go away, just then her Ishita entered, smiling to me, in a mysterious way. She took my name and stepped aside, it was she, my love; wearing a white suit with a purple sweater. She was yet feeling myself anymore, entering in the class yawing. She was looking too pretty and cute, first time wearing a suite; she was looking damn awesome. She was sitting to my left, back. My eyes were wishing just to keep watching her, and somehow I managed to get her glimpse from the corner of my eye.

As the class got over, collecting all my power, I stood up and gave a white rose to every girl, as I thought, giving to her only, might not be good; as I was just a friend for her. After giving it to all, I went to her, questions were running in my mind, will she accept it? Am I doing the right thing? Hope she will not get angry...

"Huh ... it’s not that tough; I can do it. Yes, I have to."

I went to her, she turned to me, her eyes, was so beautiful, much like that of a princess, sparking with an unnatural gleam. I gave her Rose, though it was white for her, signifying that 'you are adorable', but for me, it was red, signifying that 'I Love you'.

She accepted it, with a little hesitation, but with a smile.

Soon, time flew away, and a day came, when... when I couldn't able to keep it to me, to control myself from expressing my feelings for here.

It was raining heavily, I was sitting with lights off, and the fear of losing her was making my heart cry out. I tried thrice, to text her about my feelings for her, but I failed every time; coz somewhere my heart knew that maybe, after hearing this, she will leave me forever. And that was something, which was choking my throat and was making me shiver, like anything.

For the fourth time, gathering all my strength, power and myself all together.

I texted her, "I want to Say something to you. I’m not sure what will be your reaction, even I'm not sure whether I should say it or not, but I just can't keep it to myself anymore. Sorry, now I just can't control myself... (Telling everything, I ever wanted to say, I feel and what she means to me) I proposed her.

Chapter-3

She replied nothing for 10 mins, after that, she replied, "sorry I can't be that girl," and after few more of our conversation, she blocked me.

Days, Weeks, Months and Years passed away.

But none season passed, without a feeling of incompleteness, none night passed, where I didn't miss her.

One thought, was always there, one question was still left unanswered," does she ever missed me, even once in these days?"

Time, went off, things changed but her thought in my mind and that question was still left unanswered.

Chapter-4

After 7 years near a beach, as I was returning back from my work. I saw a girl was sitting with a notebook and a guitar, with an open hair flying in the air. My curiosity to see her from close rose up... Her phone rang up, it was her friend-'Ishita'

 Her image blinked on her screen.

"Ishita" is she is Sharon?

I decided to leave at that very moment, as my past was flashing in my mind; but her sobs wasn't letting me.

Soon I saw Wichita coming towards her. I just turned around as I didn't want her to see media went few steps back and Sat there covering my face with a newspaper. So what if she doesn't ever love me? So what if she hates me? But my heart still beats for her.

"What’s wrong with you, Sharon? Why aren't you picking up my phone? Why are you still on to that chapter?" Ishita asked from her. “I wish if you could had accepted his proposal. Why did you acted like you don't love him, he doesn't affect you, bother you, in anyway? Today you have to tell me why?

"Which chapter? Whose proposal? What is she talking about...?" I had to know it now.

I stepped few more steps back, and Sat there covering my face with a newspaper.

She replied in between her sobs, “because ... cause, I love him and didn't want to hurt him" 

Her reply was like a bullet has hit media was shocked. I felt like to kill myself at that moment, as too many emotions were engulfing me, and it became hard for me to stay there, even for a minute more.

I stood up, and began to leave; when she cried again "I too love you Ishaan."

This name, Ishaan stopped me, it was me, and it was my name, which she took.

Yes, she loved me, she always wanted me to be there in her life, she was in need of me, much like a child needs their parents, but she always kept it all to herself and wished to have me as her friend she wished it so,

Cause she doesn't want to add salts to my wounds, for whole of my life, to cry on. She doesn't want me to give me memories, her commitment, sacrifices, and is remorse in pain, cause she knew the pain of not having been left alone; or being cheated; of not having a lap to cry on, or complain about my sorrows. As I didn't had my mother alive on this earth. And my destiny was great full enough to support me, with a broken family and a step-mother.  She just wanted to help me, to support me whenever I will be in need of a soul mate, to be that shoulder on which I can cry on. But not to become a stick of my life, and make me dependent on her for my own breaths; as she was sure we will never be able to stay together because she knew it well that she is not only a daughter of her father but also his pride, his life too. So she decided to sacrifice herself for her dad and me. She sacrificed her everything and most importantly her feelings, which I didn't able to, ever; without uttering a word of her sacrifices. I just loved her, but she proved it silently.

And that day, I got to know what true love is and what it actually means.