Mother

I opened my eyes to see the white ceiling above my head. Where am I? Then I remembered. I pricked up my ears to hear the sound of a new born but no there’s no sound. Why? There should have been some sound! I turned my head to see to my left but no, there’s no baby cot there. I turned my head towards my right and saw a nurse working there. I asked her “Sister where is my child?”

She answered “In the incubator”

I panicked but my body didn’t haste with my mind to help me sit up fast. I just could wriggle up the pillow to an awkward half sit half lay position and then asked in such a voice which I couldn’t recognize myself “Why is she in incubator?” Why I wasn’t sure but my heart whispered that the baby born to me is a girl.

“The baby is an immature one and is suffering from breathing problems”

“How long will she be there?”

“That is what doctor will decide”

And then I murmured that obvious question which my heart had already answered “The baby is....”

“Yes a girl.... now open your mouth and have these pills” I looked at her and then took the pills and the glass of water to gulp them down.

“Can I see her?”

“Not now when doctor will allow only then” A moment later I asked “Did anyone come.....”

The nurse understood the meaning of my unfinished question and replied “Still not” and then she left with the medicine tray. My back started aching and I slipped back to my laying position. Once more I stared at the white ceiling and the ceiling fan rotating in a slow motion. Last morning when labour pain started Ankit could just spare his precious few minutes to book me a cab to get me to the hospital and then informed my parents to come immediately and take care of me. He left with a warning note to me “If it is a boy, inform us immediately but if it is a girl don’t come back”

I was one hundred percent sure that no one will come from my so called educated sasural to welcome the third daughter in their family and the ‘kalmuhi bahu’ that’s me. This time when they got the news of my pregnancy for the third time, my very modern and loving husband said “I wish this time you bring the gift of honour and happiness for my family with a son” I just stayed silent because Ankit don’t like arguing wife. Last time after birth of my second daughter when he said I’ve just brought sorrow to his family, I said daughters too are like sons. I wished to know how an educated man can talk like this when every educated person knows the biological requirement to bear a male child, he thrashed me.

My mother in law ran to every temple to offer special puja so that god blesses her with a grandson this time. My father in law went to renowned astrologer to know whether the baby coming will be a boy or a girl. Both my parents were angry on the government’s ban on the finding of gender of the foetus in the womb itself. But everyone’s prayers and wishes went wrong and now my third daughter is in the world.

Everyone of my family was very proud when the match maker came to our home for the second time to announce that the engineer groom and his family has given a positive nod in accepting me as the daughter in law for their home. My mother said “You are a lucky one to get over the primary hurdle. I had a fear that they won’t choose you due to your wheatish complexion. Thanks to god that he helped you” I did not argue as I was accustomed to listening such dialogues from childhood.

I was a mediocre student and so couldn’t go much beyond the graduation level. After studies I applied for official jobs and could bag one but with less salary. My parents declared it is better to get married off and start a family as I won’t go too far with such less educational qualification. I wasn’t sure with my career and so give in to their words. After an intensive search I go selected and my family rejoiced at this success. I got married and entered into the conjugal life with Ankit. We didn’t undertake any family planning and I went to be the mother of the first child within ten months of my marriage. I didn’t wish to be a mother so early but my mother said “It isn’t a good choice to abort when a fruit has already come. Young trees bear healthy fruits than old ones. And the more you grow old reproductive complications increase”

The whole family was sure that I would bear a male child so all the ceremonies related with child birth were done inviting all the relatives friends and neighbours. But their wish wasn’t fulfilled. And gradually their mask of loving, caring, open-mindedness, modern thinking went off and instead came up what they actually wished from me i.e. an obedient housewife and a son bearing machine. So my preparation started for the second child. After one and a half year my second daughter arrived in the world. This time no one was invited for the child birth ceremony only ‘prasad’ was brought from a nearby temple. My father in law said “We will throw a grand reception on the entry of the grandson in our home”

This is the third time their wish did not fulfil and I fear they won’t come to take me home. My parents came with a worried face to visit me along with my elder daughters. They were more depressed when they heard every word of my in laws and that the third one is suffering from complications. My mother said “You have to take added care to bring her up and secondly she needs special medical attention. Who will pay for the bills and the rest afterwards?”

I looked at her and then at my father. I could feel the deep rooted fear in their minds i.e. if Ankit denies bringing up his unwanted family. This fear made my determination strong. I won’t run away but will fight for the genuine rights of my girls. I’m a mother and I won’t give in to others’ false conclusion.