Gujisticide

Gujisticide

A festival in India, isn’t it like magic? the Enthusiastic souls of these Indian species need no time machine to go years forward or millions backward. Say it spirit or say it love, “but during this short but long’’ duration, children forget their childhood and behave like adults holding a big responsibility of celebration with their small hands, when adults forget their adulthood and behave like children – dancing and laughing, swinging and eating. suddenly they are at the top of the world! This is what we think right? But there are some selfish and miser corners in the world to whom festival isn’t all about expenses but, about savings! Here’s one such family who’s senseless, logic less, conscienceless, hopeless and reckless deeds have stolen my desire to talk about them. A family in Lucknow, consisting of a Ramulala, his wife Kaji, their three children and a pet dog Toommee. The name of their pet dog is Tommy but their standard pronunciation is ‘Toommee’.

The family lived in a modern society near Lucknow where a special rule was made that without any stress on contribution, every year each family had to take the responsibility of supplying Gujiyas and Thandai to its fellow members. This time it was Ramulala’s turn. “No middle-class family like us is ought to get their hands on such big expenses especially when festivals are knocking our doors so why don’t you make Gujiyas at home all by yourself, after-all they are going to be much cheaper than the Gujiyas of ‘Kaka Halwai Wala’. And If the talk comes for Thandai..ummm.. oh yeah we can serve Nimbu-pani instead of Thandai for a change! and I know even Nimbu-pani tastes the best without Nimbu, so don’t worry about it.’’ Ramulala said to his wife in one breath. Now it was Kaji who had to take it all. 

                                                           

  ….2..

Last year Kaji’s uncle had a visit to California, from there he had bought his niece an enormous packet of almonds. But Raju, Kaji’s son, used to leave the packet unsealed. As a result, they were rotten like an apple kept in a fridge three years ago. “So What? I CAN STILL USE THEM” she thought and started grinding the almonds. A year before the last year her aunt visited INDONESIA, from there she had bought three kilos of coconut powder. Shelly-her eldest daughter and an amateur baker used to use it but a year ago to a day she found a beetle in it, scared she threw it in her kitchen cupboard and no one has touched it since then. Of course, it’s still there but, of brown color. “So what? I can still use it” she thought and started mixing it with grinded almonds.

A year before the year before the last year her late grandpa had bought her a sack of brown sugar from his fields of sugarcane but Koki, her youngest son an active heart of this dead family, had torn the sack with his ‘formula 1 plastic car’ this attracted a lot of rats, ants and lizards. “So what? I can still use them” she thought and started using it. So- on her each family member had fulfilled her needs at the right time. Everything was good and ready except the most important thing- flour. She had more than sufficient but who can waste such precious thing. After all Gujiya is not a diamond that a lot of ‘carbon’ should be wasted for it.

So with variety of reasonable excuses, she went door to door asking small-small amount of flour. After bringing the mustered flour she kneaded it and started moulding it. At last, ‘The ultimate makeshift Gujiyas’ were finally made. “Hash, my work is finally done, now I am going to watch my serial and have a sleep until the evening” after about three hours of relaxation she returned to the kitchen to cook dinner for her family but the environment she saw was extremely unrespectable for her. Her pet was lying glumly on the floor while shelly and Raju were fighting for the only vacant bathroom in their house, Koki was vomiting in the washbasin while she sensed that her husband was soaking his warm head with a cloth dipped in the bucket full of cold water. Kaji finally got hold of the culprit of the crime- Gujiyas! She never thought that the same rotten Gujiyas that she had prepared for her neighbors might get eaten up by her own loved ones. On the contrary the tit-bits of the Gujiyas were eaten up by the rattling rats and the sliding lizards too. No way was left now. “Hello Kaka Halwai wala?.....er…can I have around two barrels of Gujiya , and a barrel of Thandai………

Er….yes….yes…….Ramulala speaking……er…..yeah….how much?.........5178!....arre at least give some discount, it’s a festive season after all!!!...yeah …. What….5180!!....ok-ok.. I would like to have a free cash on delivery then…yeah…thank you…..yeah same to you…namaste.” Throwing all savings into dustbin Ramulla had to finally arrange and order Gujiyas and barrels of Thundai all by himself . Sad and glum, a terrible silence had spread in the room.

“At-least there’s one profit we have earned!” Kaji exclaimed

“how?” surprised, Ramulala asked

“Well, at-least we won’t be buying any pesticide for the year!”