Dread

(Homage to Franz Kafka)

It started to rain at 1:15 am; I rushed toward my balcony to save all my washed cloths from getting wet. After properly placing them on the hand of chairs and below the fan, I went again to my room. I have a 2BHK apartment on my own. Sometime I hear my voice again. Tickling of clock resonates obtrusively. I am an odious fellow, following cigarette after cigarette I spend my evening. Then after a light dinner I take on a book and read it to sleep. I was raining heavily, everything was replete with elation, window panes glistened with pleasant shower and gentle breeze kept caressing. I stood up to get a glass of water before sleeping. When I was coming back from kitchen, I saw infinitesimal insect coming out from a small whole behind.

At first with dismay I threw a cigarette butt of the cigarette I just finished, nothing substantial happened. Then I went to my cupboard brought my perfume and Brut deodorant keep it on the bed, and went to search for a broom. After five minutes of earnest quest I found a broom, all dusty. What I did is I first swept that entire insect at a particular place. Then sprayed perfume in greater amount followed by great amount of deodorant. I then brought the matchbox, opened it, brought two matchsticks and burned them all. Then just to ensure this that whether my attempt was a success or not followed the same procedure and burned them all again. By this they were all black, resembling black of charcoal, that so called poetic black.

I then took broom and swept them outside my room into the lobby. After finishing all this I came back into my room and opened my cigarette box, I found out that I don’t have any cigarette now. Suddenly I was disquieted by this crisis. Pangs of anxiety started gnawing at my bone, I looked outside my window to check if any cigarette shop was open now, time was 1: 38 am. I then shut my window and took the book again. After 3 pages I was drowsy and indolent. So, I closed the book and slept.

In the middle of the night, I felt a little uncomfortable in my sleep, but paid no heed, then I felt something slithering across my skin of my right left, I tried removing it by pushing it with my left leg. I felt something in multitude, like battalion, I woke up unnerved. I saw those insect swere all over me and my bed. They were looking ferocious, at first when I saw them I flinched, I was aghast then I tried to stay collected, then endeavoured to come out of their burden, but they are incalculably hefty. With the strength increased and I submitted to them when I was sore and all in excruciating pain.

Next morning waking up I found myself transformed into that same insect, infinitesimal in size; I felt my head bizarrely light. At first I was elated; that I have eluded banal life of humanity, chain of deluded eccentrics. I felt I have finally succeeded in un-clenching myself from loneliness at least here nobody was alone. There would be no forceful religiousness, and most important of all there would be no religious hypocrites.

I slithered from my bed to its base. Then I progressed toward that hole from they all came. On entering I saw trail which insect in front of me were following. I stayed on the trail. Walking for little distance I saw several groups of insect. They were looking at me with aversion. I kept my gaze down I had no courage to look into anyone's eye. I kept thinking where all that reckless courage has gone which I had as a human being.

Suddenly a group rushed toward me started haranguing of my mass murdering of their kindred. I had nothing in my defence. I kept my gaze down and kept listening to the harangue. I thought of myself as the most abhorrent creature ever born. I wished they kill me end me with my miseries. As a human being I was distraught with loneliness and self-hatred and here I felt I was free, nothing to impede me from achieving freedom, free from human quests.

But instead of killing me they did me greater damage, they ostracised me here; I felt there is no greater burden then getting mercy where you wanted retribution. Like here I wanted them to kill but they left me with no comeuppance. I walked from there and went to a corner, stood there alone with

all miseries, sadness and guilt.....