Bhoomi Agrawal

Crime Tragedy Inspirational

4.4  

Bhoomi Agrawal

Crime Tragedy Inspirational

Disgust

Disgust

2 mins
33.4K


I was 11 years old and you ruined me. I was a kid and you scarred me. I was a naïve little girl with a horrifying memory stuck in my head. I was a victim every single day. I lived with you and you erased my sanity. I loved you and you abused me. I trusted you, you engulfed me. I felt safe with you and you made me fight me. I looked up to you and it was you because of whom I hated looking at myself. I scrubbed myself, for years after you stopped, then why do I still feel just as dirty? Oh, yes, because I was 11 and you ruined me.

I was 12 and you, still hadn’t stopped. I was 12 and thought you’d gotten your sanity back. I didn’t live with you anymore but you came to haunt every single night. I hated you and you still didn’t stop the abuse. I couldn’t look at myself without disgust but you seemed perfectly fine. I was sick of your excuses but you didn’t understand. You tried convincing me, over and over again, that what I wanted is what you were giving to me- with your hands running all over me and your- ugh, I can’t think about it without it creeping onto me and I couldn’t help but feel disgusted even then. So, tell me, how was it what I wanted? Oh, yes, because you thought my body was yours to abuse, perhaps?

I was 13 and the word ‘NO’ had lost all its meaning. I was a teen with no self-confidence.  I was an English student with heartbreaking poems and essays that I never submitted. I was a soul with scarred wrists. I was a daughter who called her dad up at 1am from your phone and house with lighting outside, crying, asking to pick me up but never stating why. I was a walking body with zero trust and self-worth. My image in the mirror screamed dirty and disgusting.

I was broken and you did that. I was lost and that was your fault. I am so shielded because of you. All my bad habits are because of you. You creep into my room late at night and lure your way into my dreams; you haunt me to this day. I hate you. You disgust me and because of you I disgust myself. I hope you’re happy but I hope you live and die with this guilt buried deep within you.

 


Rate this content
Log in

More english story from Bhoomi Agrawal

Similar english story from Crime