Bridled Yet Free

With the end of my grade 12, I finally earned my own phone.

Even though my first phone happens to be my mother’s old android VIVO phone, I am totally happy with it.

Whenever my friends call me I no longer have to rush downstairs and wrestle the phone away from my brother.

Yes, it was weird to share a phone with two other people, (my mother and younger brother) when even my baby cousins flaunted their own tablets. But I was not daunted by this fact. It was a thrill of a kind to keep your privacy. Also this practice helped me manage my digital time.

So, after earning my new phone, the first thing I did was prank call my friends. Cause why not? I finally have the time to goof around after 2 years.

Grade 11th and 12th have been an epic roller coaster ride for me and as I wait for my results and college applications I guess I will reconnect with all my old associates.

Recently, I read an article about Teenage Curfew. I was forced to ponder why my parents have never bothered to set a curfew for me.

It’s not the fact that they don’t care for me. It’s just that they know I won’t have the guts to step out.

Yes, in the last few months, I have become socially withdrawn like I said I was undertaking some very grave exams.

So, when I stepped out yesterday in the jogging ground I panicked on seeing so many people.

But spending an hour there helped me calm down. Guess I need to practice my social skills if I have to survive college.

Maybe now I can even gain my own curfew time. As my last year of teenage goes on, I should definitely try out all the teen stuff.

But the fact remains that even before grade 11 I was an introvert or more of a mama’s and papa’s girl.

Is it a bad thing to look up to and follow your parents? Is it strange to share every detail or gossip of your life with them?

I don’t think so because I have always followed this. I know we usually talk about such things with our friends but my parents have always been my friends.

No doubt they play the role of parents but they are great listeners and advisors.

You might think that my parents have me wrapped around their fingers and if they say to jump in the ocean I will jump.

It’s true, because I have now reached a level of mutual trust with my parents. I know that they have already measured the ocean's safety before telling me to dive and enjoy.

It’s not like I hate my friends, there are just some things only the ones the same age as you will cherish.

Still I find it difficult to open up to them. Then I feel sad that I have no best friend forever like in all the young adult books I have read.

Guess, it’s a two way street, to gain trust you need to show some trust.

Maybe, I will find my best friend forever in college, who knows?

I have heard, seen and read that teenagers feel stifled by their parents and that they require some space.

There are times when I too need my me time but those times are short lived as my normal is living with them.

Yes, they ask about our marks and tell us to study and focus and they ask about how much work you did, but then what else can they talk about?

I think the reason for the strain in children and parent relationships is the lack of topics. If you want to change this thing then find more common topics.

Like my brother and I are both Avengers fans. So, after watching the entire movie we made our mother watch them and even forced our father to sit through all of them.

Even though my parents bring up wrong references from the movies, that’s the part where we connect with them by telling them what really happened.

It’s fun to share things with them and you will see that bringing up new topics, your conversations with your parents will take a healthy shape.

As I stand on another crossroad of life with my grade 12 coming to an end. I am still left in a dilemma regarding which road to choose.

Like Robert Frost, my favorite poet stated,

‘Two Roads diverged in a Wood, and I -

I took the one less traveled by

And that has made all the difference.’

Similarly, it’s what I choose now that will evidently affect my future.

Right from grade 6 I started to fall in love with writing and Six years later I know that I will be an author.

You don’t need a degree to be an author. In each field you can write something. By going into medical practice I can become an enthusiastic murder mystery writer using the chemicals to kill off characters. The field of engineering will help me expand in the world of science fiction. By going for law I can write crime thrillers. If I choose English I might be able to bring out my articles in a better edited format.

But I chose Non -Medical for my senior secondary years because firstly I got the desired score and secondly my small hometown held less scope for the English field. But the interest in English remained constant.

So, at this point I can either pursue English or Engineering.

And yes, I am still going to look upon my parents to guide me forward.

I want their opinion on which colleges I should consider and their priority order.

My parents never forced me to choose Non Medical in grade 11th and 12th.

Nor did they push me into the rat race of IIT. It was a mutual decision which emerged after long sets of round table conferences.

And here I am 2 years later still with no scope of IIT.

Was choosing Non- Medical a wrong choice? Had I been better off in Humanities?

Like I stated earlier there were a lot of ‘What Ifs?’.

But if I am happy with what I became, then it was the right road for me.

Even though I end up choosing English, these two years will always help me as I learnt how to study for long hours and deal with bad results.

So, yes my parents will form an important part of my decisions for the foreseeable future.

I see even now my grandparents advising and ordering my parents. No doubt they listen to them but sometimes they act on their own too.

Because no one can control an individual’s thoughts and actions. You can just present your opinions and hope that they are accepted.

I know you might believe that your parents will never support your dreams, and aspirations. But you must remember that our parents may try to bridle us but they want us to be happy and safe.

They always prepare a plan B for us so that we are not left with anything.

Instead of believing that you will never get off their bridles and fighting against your parents' constraints, try to reason with them.

Tell them why you are passionate about a specific thing. Be communicative and learn to share your success.

If you talk aloud then your parents may realize that holding onto the bridles is no longer necessary. Finally their horses are ready to trot on their own.

Enjoy living in bridles because this time is increasingly short lived. Once you go off to college your relationship with your parents will never be the same.

Remember the time when you started to ride a tricycle, those wheels helped you balance, right? Similarly your parents try supporting you by guiding you on the right path but you need to help them realize that you can steer the cycle on your own and just need their help to balance.

Lastly, I can just say one thing that in life friends come and go, followers follow and leave but only our parents remain till the end feeling proud of every little accomplishment and hiding away our gravest of mistakes.

Now, I need to hurry and run downstairs because my phone is ringing. Guess old habits die hard. I still forget about my phone. Anyways if you guys have any tips to spend my time productively drop your ideas in the comment box.