Breathless
Breathless
Ex… A lifetime of shared experiences, a bouquet of emotions, an album full of myriad memories, dismissed and being relegated to the past, a relationship degraded to a syllable. How can one let go of their grip on the psyche, on the very being? What if the one that got away can be brought back … I believe in ever after.
Valentine’s Day was our day, clearly by far the best day to start on my mission. We dated for a year – online though, Lockdown Romance, even after things got better, she didn’t seem to be up for an actual date. Things were moving seamlessly till she called it off, almost the way we started (just a text) – I don’t see us working - and then blocked. I needed answers, I needed to win her back.
A week’s holiday from the office- check, grocery- check, a bag full of adult diapers -check, phone calls to friends and ma – check, cash- check, was I forgetting something … Equipped with a pair of binoculars, a week’s supply of essentials and my old and trusted Becky – rusty, creaky and in desperate need of repairs, I started on getting my ex- Sana- back. S**t !!! forgot to carry my most prized possession- a lucky charm, the only gift I had received from Sana ( A year apart clearly outweighs half an hour). Its cool and reassuring feel would magically teleport me to the –‘Us time’
14 February, Unlike any other day I woke up all energized, the whiff of the acrid, ashy, and briny coffee charged me further. Coffee mug in hand, I went about loading Becky. She groaned and moaned but trust her not to give up on me. Mission time. Becky and I started on our way again with the oft-played – ‘Every breath you take, every move you make …’ blaring on the radio.
I spotted her a mile away - Matted hair, clothes that had seen better days, chuffing away on a pipe, I had yet to see a more unkempt person, who would pick her up… Well, I always had a thing for such beings. Scrub them, feed them and then they shall be yours for life. Her backpack in the boot, off we were. Her porcelain neck, with a mole strategically placed right in the middle, was a preview of her true beauty.
Once settled, she introduced herself, “Hi! I am Clara. Thank you for stopping! I have been desperate to reach the city.” Desperation, how I love that-my dish of choice!
The conversation was free-flowing, quite like Clara’s personality. “My friends call me Scatter Clara !!” Ah if only they knew what they had. “I am off to the city to find a job.” I would take care of you; you need not work. “I have no degrees to bank on and am too old to pick up new stuff.” You are a goddess; others should work for you. The loud honking of the car behind us snapped me back to the present – Girl, go slow, you are here to woo Sana back. Stay on task.
I clearly didn’t want the ride to end, and it seemed she read my mind, “Hey, I kind of enjoyed the ride, if it’s not too much to ask, may I please stay for the entire journey.” And so, she did. She talked about her childhood – spent on the road, her parents who were free-spirited and then her teenage years spent moving from one city to another, always on the lookout for adventure.
Sana – my ex and Clara – were like peas in a pod. Laid back and carefree, liked to be taken care of, almost childlike in their needs. They were like a breath of fresh air, essential for my survival. Unlike Sana, Clara seems to have no family, all the easier to possess and woo. What’s happening – My focus has taken a beating – shifting from my one and only to the hardly know. Should I walk the forests I know or take on the road less travelled? “I know it sounds stupid and crazy but are you up for an adventure?”, famous last words…