Bhagwat Purana

Massachusets Technology Institute, somewhere in the USA

Sherlock Holmes walked in hurriedly with a piece of printed paper into the office of Dr C.J. Watson, Head of the Department of Genetics and Cerebral Hemispheres. Dr Watson was among the forerunner in the sphere of genetics and cerebral science. As Holmes showed the printed paper, Dr Watson could not believe what he was reading. He reread the document and locked eyes with Holmes and said: "Not so, elementary, my dear Holmes." Dr Watson did not realize that Sherlock had erred like a human. 

He quickly opened his mobile and dialled Herr Dr Chaturvedi who was the Head of the Department of Sanskrit and Vedic Sciences at the Berlin University. Dr Chaturvedi was exhausted after numerous trials in different methods of copulation as described in the Kamasutra, an ancient treatise in the art of lovemaking by Vyatsayana and had experienced multiple orgasms. His seed was completely sucked out and he was left with no juice. That is when the phone rang. Dr Chaturvedi knew he had to take the call for it was his number which very few in the world had. Dr Watson quickly conveyed the message which was followed by a WhatsApp message of the document that Dr Watson had read.

Dr Chaturvedi's eyes almost popped out and he gave out a shriek in his excitement. He quickly forwarded the message to his close-knit group of Vedic Aryans and fell down asleep on his bed. Ms Yuyou his Chinese intern and partner in Kamasutra escapades, well endowed as a woman and sharp as well in the cerebral department, jumped out of the bed and quickly read the message and forwarded the same to the head of a top-secret lab at Wuhan.Dr Chaturvedi never knew that Ms Yuyou was a honey trap placed in his department by the Chinese spy agency to mine precious Sanskrit knowledge. 

Dr Sing song who was a night owl gasped when he read the message. He wondered if it was possible at all. If it was possible the ramifications for the world's security at large and if someone could actually succeed in genetic manipulation, that nation can rule the world. He looked at his watch and the time read 0330 hrs in the morning. He decided to wait for one more hour and forward the message to a top-secret number to be used only for ultra-important communication.

The Chinese premier began doing his Tai-chi. Not for him the yoga contortions his ex-friend was propagating with good effect. The last time the dragon and the elephant danced was at the sea-shore at Mahabalipuram in the south of India. Since then, the dragon had shown his true colours and the elephant was sulking since then. His aide came and gave him the mobile phone with the message. The message better be good thought the Premier at the sudden intrusion. He too was shocked to see the message and a sinister look came on to his face. His aide shivered when he looked at the Premier's face. He told the aide to send the green signal.

At Moscow, the KGB Director walked into the Russian Premier's office and had a quick meeting. The KGB agents had detected a lot of noise in telecommunications across the globe, but could not decipher the message. The KGB Director called on the Ambassador in the Indian embassy.

Director, Raw and Fresh, in Delhi was surprised to receive a call from the Ambassador to Russia. It was a quick call and he received the text that followed. The text read

"If someone is a Hindu, he will be patriotic and that will be his basic character and nature, RSS chief Mohan Bhagwat said on Friday, and added that a person born into the Hindu faith can never be "anti-India."

Director, Raw and Fresh, wondered what was that in the message that had made the Indian Ambassador to Russia call him who further told him that Director KGB had passed on this message. Anyway, he wanted to ascertain that the message was truly uttered by the 'Hindu Patriarch' and called his friend in the R-Pub TV who confirmed the message as authentic. The Director smiled to himself and wondered why the fuss about yet another jumla . The Director did not realise that the message going around globally was mistakenly  thought to be sourced from Bhagwat Purana, classical Sanskrit text rather than Mohan Bhagwat. 

Dr Chaturvedi at 9 am in the morning had instructed his intern to immediately confirm or otherwise if the text was indeed from Bhagwat Purana. Later in the day, he was told that it wasn't the case and the text was from the speech of one Mr Mohan Bhagwat, a Hindu Patriarch and the source was misquoted. He communicated the same to Dr Watson.Dr Watson thought coming from a great Hindu Patriarch, could the message be dismissed as non-sense. 

Still, Dr Watson wondered knowing well the measure of the depth of the science on which the Hindu religion was based. Indeed, if one's patriotism was influenced by one's intrinsic nature (otherwise a genetic trait) it has major implications for nationalities, national defence and if it was so, the genetic trait could be modified as well. Would the patriotic trait have changed with the conversion of Hindus to Muslim and other religions in India? Would such a genetic trait malleable in humans? Would it be then possible to discover an American patriotic gene? He then decided to call up Chief of Staff at White House and fix up a meeting with the US President.

It was precisely the same theory that the Head of the lab at Wuhan was expanding to the Chinese Premier. The Chinese premier was further briefed that nobody had so far explored this frontier and they may be in a catch-up race with Dr Watson at the MTI. The Chinese Premier informed the Head "no limits" and asked him to go full throttle.

Back at home, there was no hue and cry over Bhagwat's statement. Except that one Mr Oh I see from Hyderabad had reacted saying that all Indians are patriots irrespective of religion. Director, Raw and Fresh sent a message back to the Indian Ambassador that the Bhagwat's speech was "much ado about nothing" and closed the file.