A Strange Loop

Nobody knows reality.

Our brains just perceive.

This sometimes makes me feel if scientific fantasies like time travel and parallel universes already exist but our brains just don't have the capacity to perceive them.

And then one day it happened.

What I am going to say is impossible you might say, but it happened. And it happened last Sunday when I woke up from my bed and started on with my regular routine.

And what exactly happened is this: last Sunday just kept happening again and again.

And before I move on here, let me tell you something about myself.

I am a blogger and I do freelance journalism. My name is Chanakyan. I live with my wife and son in Chennai in a flat on the first floor of an apartment.

Just before last Sunday happened or rather kept happening, I exposed a corporate scandal in my blog. A top-level politician and a filthy rich businessman were involved in the scandal. I managed to get all the details through the network I had built over fifteen years of my freelance journey.I was aware of the threat they could bring to my life and my family.

It suddenly dawned on me that maybe I shouldn't have taken this route. I have a family now. I could prefer the peace of mind over truth and justice. After all, even truth and justice are just perceptions of the brain, isn't it?

Coming back to last Sunday,

I woke up from my bed stressed over the threat to my life and my family and just sat on the bed for a few minutes.

And then I heard the sound of the doorbell.

It was around 9 am, I had slept long really. My wife just woke me up and went to the kitchen and started cooking. My five-year-old son was still sleeping in another bedroom. This was the usual time a sanitary worker collects garbage from my flat. My wife shouted from the kitchen to fetch the garbage and hand it over. I collected the garbage, went near the door, and didn't bother to see through the door hole as I was quite sure it was the sanitary worker. And then as soon as I opened the door, a knife quickly ran through my throat and I fell with a thud on the floor. I felt indescribable pain but only for a few seconds.

Everything went dark.

I died and so I thought.

But then I woke up again, the same way in the same dress I had woke up the previous day (can I call it the previous day now?).

I felt like sitting on the bed for a few minutes and I did, this time more stressed and confused.

The bell rang again.

My wife shouted from the kitchen again and my heartbeat very hard. Then I felt it should have been just a dream, a nightmare and I should ignore it. Probably it was stress that was causing this.

And so I went and collected the garbage. This time though I peeked through the hole. I found no one. It happens often that the sanitary worker rings the bell and proceeds to the next floor so that by the time she returns our garbage would be kept ready outside our flat.

I paused for a moment. It should be just a bad nightmare I told myself. I opened the door and just when I leaped to keep the garbage can outside, someone rushed from my left side. He had been hiding in a corner. A knife ran through my throat and I fell with a thud on the floor.

Everything went dark.

I died and so I thought.

But then I woke up, the same way and in the same dress I had woke up the previous day (let me call it the previous day for simplicity's sake).

I noted down the exact time this time as soon as I woke up.

It was 9:02 AM.

This time I was sure it wasn't a dream. Or was it a dream inside a dream? Or was it a glitch in my life?

Maybe our lives are just programs, coded by software programmers from other planets. And it happened that someone put my life on a loop and forgot to put the logic to break it.

Ah! What am I thinking?

No time to waste.

I rushed to the kitchen, took a sharp knife, shushed my wife, asked her to trust me with what I am doing, and then rushed to the door, and kept peeking through the door hole.

I kept looking at the clock.

It was 9:07 AM. I noticed the man who killed me climbing up the stairs. My apartment is an ancient building, it doesn't have a lift. And the stairs are exactly in front of our flat doors so that you can see anyone climbing up the steps.

He pressed the doorbell and quickly slid to the corner.

My heart pounded very hard.

Should I call the police instead?

I thought that wouldn't help, these were powerful men behind and the law was in their pockets. I had little trust with the inspector of my area.

I decided to take the plunge.

I opened the door and raised my hands to stab the murderer.

But I didn't have enough time. The time taken to open the door and have an aim at him was too long. He was too agile and strong for that. He ran the knife through my throat before I did. I fell with a thud on the floor.

Damn! I missed and worse I will be back in the loop.

And then it happened as I feared.

I woke up the next day (let me call it the next day for some solace) the same way wearing the same dress.

I had something different this time.

Information.

Information that it will take five minutes since I woke up at 9:02 AM for the thief to reach my door. Three minutes before he appears in the vicinity of my door climbing the steps.

I rushed to the kitchen again, shushed my wife again, and asked her to lock herself and my son in the room where my son was sleeping. I asked her not to ask any questions and trust me. I asked her to call the police if I don't ask her to open the door after five minutes. I didn't consider their safety the previous times. What if the murderer killed them too?

While they were moving, I took the knife again and the garbage can full of garbage rushed to the door opened it, and climbed the stairs of the second floor.

It was 9:04 AM. I just took two minutes. In another minute the murderer would be climbing the steps in front of my flat and press the doorbell.

I waited to hide in the second-floor stairs as near to my flat as I could without exposing myself to him.

He appeared.

And just when he was about to press the doorbell, I threw the pile of garbage at him and obstructed his vision.

And then I ran my knife through his throat.

He fell with a thud on the floor.

My heart kept pounding. What have I done!

Here I am, I escaped death but I have committed a murder.

Did I break the loop?

Do I have to go to jail?

And then this strange thing happened.

Everything became dark.

I woke up the same way wearing the same dress today.

It was 9:02 AM.

I sat on the bed, confused. Some parts of my mind felt a little relieved paradoxically. I sat on the bed for a few minutes unable to decide.

And then the doorbell rang.

My heart pounded again.

It was 9:07 AM.

My wife shouted from the kitchen to hand over the garbage to the sanitary worker.

I went to the kitchen, took the garbage can alone, and paused for a moment whether to pick the knife again. But what use of it if I am going to stuck in the loop?

I peeked through the door.

It was a sanitary worker.

She was cleaning the dirt in front of my flat.

I opened the door and handed her the garbage can with all smiles.

"Sir, you are looking very happy today. Anything special?"

she asked puzzled.

Of course, I was.

I broke the strange loop.