A Snap....

“Hello Papa, what happened? You sound worried?”

“Your mom is not ready to go to the hospital. She gets annoyed if I ask her about the next meeting with the doctor. You know na, avoiding doctor visits can be really dangerous for her health?”

“Hmmm….”

“Talk to her if possible. Try to convince her for the next visit.”

“I will papa. But it has been three years since she is taking chemotherapy. And preparing her for the therapy is like pushing her in the sea of ants. They will bite her all over…and we have to console her ‘It is just an ant-bite, you will be fine. Don’t worry.’”

“Yes dear, but we have no option.”

“I know…………..I will talk to her. Meanwhile, take care of yourself too. Bye, JSK.”

“Humm..JSK.”

Next day Morning at 9:00

“Hello ma…Nahi Lidhu? (Took your bath)?”

“Yes…done with my puja too. How come you are calling at this time? Aren’t you going to office? It’s your last day today.”

“Ha ma….I will go late today. I simply have to be present there…no work…no tension…so thought to call you.”

“Good.”

“Hmm…when is your next appointment with Doctor……?.”

“It was yesterday.”

“And you did not go? Why ma? This therapy is so important”

“Seems like you had a talk with your papa.I don’t want to talk about this. It is not good for you to be stressed. So just leave it.”

“Leave it? How can I? You know very well the result of avoiding your treatment.

“You have to. Look, accept that I am suffering from cancer and I don’t want to die on the bed of therapy every week. So, ..allow me to go. The white walls and bed sheets kills me.It has been 20 rounds of therapy. How long will keep on taking it? Every time the nurse comes with a syringe and starts searching for my vein. After two-three punctures she hardly finds it because my veins have collapsed. There is nothing left in my body. Just a skeleton and the skin hanging on it. Earlier, it took 1 hour for each IV bottle to complete. Now it takes more than two hours…

At times, the fluid stops flowing, and the flow resumes only after the nurse rubs my hands. My legs are swollen. I feel so heavy when I walk. It is difficult for me to lift my leg too. And my toes have started turning black, giving me a lot of pain. It is like my body is indicating my soul that my time has come to part ways. Let me go beta.” She sobbed.

“Ma..”I swallowed rest of the words.

“And every 15 days water accumulates in my stomach. They puncture my stomach with a sharp-edged nozzle without any pain killer. I scream in pain. ..Days after the therapy are like I am sitting in a desert and sun rays are directly penetrating my body. I feel restless. I am unable to bear that heat. I feel scared as Wednesday approaches. I feel like running away from everything…but how can I escape from the ordeal of my life? The only way is….Just let me go..”

“No ma, you have been so strong till now.Even the Oncologist appreciated your will power, you Just can’t lose your hope. I need you ma,… I need you for my baby., Who will guide me for the rest of my life? You are my world ma..and you know that. Please ma, don’t discontinue your therapy…that’s your only life line..”

“I don’t have courage beta…just let me go..” Beep…Beep….Beep…

On the very first day of my daughter’s life I clicked a snap – me with my daughter in one hand, and my mother’s photo frame in another.