A Plain Black Pen

 He finally mustered the courage to ask her. Ordinarily, it was a simple question to ask but these were no ordinary circumstances for the thought of her, alone made his face flush and he could not imagine engaging in a conversation with her. A sudden feeling of over consciousness about his voice, face, hair and every visible expression of his body swept his mind and he got tense but it was too late and he had already tapped her shoulder.

The neatly tied pony swayed to the left and a face came into his view, making his pupils dilate. The bright grey eyes of hers pierced his own and awkwardly he broke the gaze and blurted out, “hey.” That was all he could get out of himself before his palms started sweating. He could not bear looking at her pretty face again in fear of being at a loss of words. Yet he was. He could sense her looking at him and in a few long moments, everything he had planned to say slipped out of his mind.

“Hey?” She asked confused. Of course she would be confused for he had never spoken to her. “Yeah, uh can I borrow a pen, the ink ran out of the last one I had.” He was regaining his confidence, all he had to do was ask this. But was anything wrong with his voice? Maybe a sudden change in tone or maybe she noticed his annoying habit of rubbing the sweaty thumb and little finger together of his left palm.

She considered for a few moments and replied, “wait.” Reaching down her bag and searching for a few seconds, she said, “here you go,” handing him a plain black pen. “Thanks.” But she had already turned her back, busy doing whatever she was. He wished to see her a little longer and hear that sweet voice, just a bit but without the awkwardness which accompanied it. He didn’t actually need the pen, it was an excuse to get talking to her but he could hardly keep her attention. I’ll try my best when returning the pen, he said to himself, feeling optimistic.

The break approached and ended as soon as it started. A horrific discovery awaited him as he returned to his seat for the pen was nowhere to be found. He searched about the same empty desk for a thousand times but in vain. Two textbooks and a few torn sheets with sketches of the most random ideas a boy bored out of his mind could have was all he could find. How in the world would that compensate for the lost pen!

Panicking, he rummaged through his bag but there was no sign of the pen, the only connection he had developed with girl. He could only imagine explaining himself to her when he could hardly utter a few simple words in front of the pretty face. He had to find the pen. Maybe Sam had taken it, the class bully, a burly boy, twice his size with an everlasting annoyed look on his face. The boy was petrified at the thought of confronting his gigantic classmate whose palms were as big as his face and to accuse him of stealing something seemed frightening but necessary.

“Hey Sam, have you seen any black pen lying around here?”

The huge boy looked up and down him and lazily answered, “no.”

“Ca-can you maybe check if you have it?”

Sam took a deep breath and heaved, glaring at the puny boy standing in front of him. “Are you saying I took it?”

“No, no nothing of that sort,” the boy gave up.

He searched the entire class, interrogating everyone except the girl herself but his search was futile. A simple, ordinary object such as this was stressing him out more than he had experienced in years. He contemplated how the girl would react. A look of irritation and disgust on the girl’s face popped in his mind and could not bear it. She might not hate him for it but his image surely wouldn’t be the best in front of her. The day was approaching an end and he was waiting for the girl to ask for the pen with no clue of what reason he would give or how he could make up for it. Uneasily he listened to the final words of the teacher as the last period was about to get over. Soon the girl would ask for it.

Funnily enough, that moment didn’t come. He waited and waited but saw girl packing her bag and leave the class, giggling with her group of friends. She had forgotten about it. Instead of being relieved, the boy couldn’t help but feel a bit disheartened.