A life lost before it began

In a world where innocence should be cherished, where childhood should be filled with love and laughter, lies a heart breaking story that will be drawn to life, by me the Author

Chapter one:

Once upon a time in Colorado, a small town name Caynon City. This is where my dad was born and raised by his parents, and went to school. Oh and one of his brothers was a policeman, sad part the police brother could not notice someone small in the family was living a painful and lonely life right in his sight. I don't know if there was laughter there, or love, or actually, I have a hard time remembering anything good only that I was a bad child and I always was punished.

Chapter two:

I was only 5yrs old is the youngest I can rember, I had long black hair, brown skin, and skinny, I wore the same cloths everyday. My dad being born in Colorado, he was white, and my mom was a true mexican, so my skin did not match them , I was darker then everyone, even my brother and sister. I don't know if my skin color drove them to hate me. The first memory that comes to me is the time my mother was in this big kitchen, and I was sitting on the floor, I had a doll with all her hair in a knot. My mother was looking at me play with my doll, she came and took the doll from my hands and replaced it with a skinny black doll, I did feel ashamed but I didn't know why, I was crying because of something she said to me, I felt hurt, and I rember I was begging her for forgiveness. Then there was a day I rembered in the same big kitchen and my mom was going somewhere, and I wanted to go but my dad said no, when my mom came back she was angry at me, and she was crying while she was hitting me, I don't know why but it lasted to Christmas, I rember going with my dad to the store to get mommy a present, I remember a pin you put on your dress, my dad help me pick it out for her. My Mommy was still so mad at me she did not want my Christmas present. I knew my Mommy was angry but I don't know why, she never looked at me . I remember too, my dad was sitting in a chair in another house, he was by a hot fire, I think it was to keep the house warm. Well somehow I got out of my bed and walked to my dad, and some how I was in the fire, I had burned my leg very bad, My parents took me to the hospital and I rememdered being scared and I wanted my mom, but I was in a room by my self, then my mom came in and worn me not to tell, I said I won't. But really I didn't know what not to tell.  

Chapter 3

The same house where I got burned on the leg, is the same , when I was looking at my mom hanging clothes, I stood there crying with a large rag in my mouth, I remember I was trying to tell her something but I couldn't. She would often pull my hair and drag me to a corner of her room and block my space with a dresser, she would tie my hands an feet and still with the wet rag in my mouth, and I would sleep on the floor. There were times I was drag to a small room out side, I think it was a garbage place because there was garbage everywhere. In there I don't have to have a rag in my mouth, or my hands and feet tied. This place was a beautiful place to me, I could talk, sing, and make believe. I was always sad to go in side my home, I wished I could just live there forever. Some times my mom just wanted to see me cry and then get mad at me, sometimes if she couldn't find a rag to put in my mouth she would put a plastic bag, make a ball and put it in my mouth, I think the rag was better it would get a little wet, but plastic was making my mouth hurt and wet, my whole clothes would be wet. At this same house my mom told me to never talk to her, so I made up a noise that came from my thoat it didn't bother her. Sometimes she would grab me and take me to the bathroom to scrub the dirty diapers that be long to my youngest brother, which I never got to play with or my other siblings. I sometimes saw my older brother in a lake or creek and one time I step into the water and a crab bit my big toe and it seemed that my brother wanted to help me, but I saw his face, it had caring in his eyes, but he hold back and left me there when my dad came home he found me and took me in.

Chapter 4

I remember times my mom would wake me up and mad me stand all night, it was painful to be sleepy and not able to lay down.

Once she woke me up and filled the tub with cold water and made me get in,then she left me there all night.  I was always in the hospital in Galveston, and I some times i would stay there very long, sometimes months I remember some one gave me lots of toys from the hospital staff when I went home.  I can see my self I was having fun with the toys,