A Letter To My Husband

12^th March, 2052.

Dear Husband,

            Long ago, I am talking about the era when we were young. I got married to you. Our marriage was not the one in which we exchanged our hearts along with the rings. We got married because we had to. I still remember our wedding day; you were looking handsome enough to melt any woman’s heart. Our families were happy to see their children married. We embarked on a new journey with each other which was full of unknown dangers, but a willingness to make it happen. I made a mental promise that even though I don’t love this man I will try my best to survive with him.

Your first touch was something I can still feel. Your strong hand pressed against my little fingers. We made love, which I never thought I would so easily, I guess maybe because it was you. I started getting accustomed to our new home, your parents, your daily routine and also your company. We talked sometimes at night during our earlier days of marriage. I understood that we are not very different from each other. We shared the same taste in movies, books and have similar aspirations in life. You were different from me in a numerous ways. You were a hygiene freak, foodie, had brighter colour choices, and had many friends. I started liking you more than I expected I ever would. The fear of losing you was creeping into my mind. I used to think of the time I would have to live without you.

I had a lot of prejudices about marriage and married life. Every single day I feared that life will show up its ugly side. But every time I feared you pacified me unknowingly. I feared you would hate me for my bad cooking skills, but you gave me all the time to learn and even appreciated my overcooked rotis. I feared losing you to another woman because I looked ordinary; however you loved me in all the ways possible. I feared that I would be a misfit in your home because of my humble background, but you treated me with equality and respect. I feared you would marry someone else because I was unable to have kids for initial three years but you waited patiently.

We had our fights too. We would fight and argue over little things like the menu for dinner, your friends dropping by on weekends or your negligence to have your medicines. We would fight because you were too narrow minded for a modern aged man. You were harsh at times. I wanted to leave you. We always said sorry. It was you who did it majority of the times, I accept. Then we had kids. Our daughter was born. I remember those stars in your eyes when you held our little angel for the first time. A few years later our son came into our life. You were the most amazing father. You loved and protected your children even more than I could. I was an independent woman, a wife, a mother but being your constant companion was the most beloved role I have ever played.

I never understood so many things about you even after spending years with you in the same house. You could always express your feelings so brilliantly whereas I would run short of words. You pampered me with those little gifts all the time; I could never decide upon a gift for you. You changed for me, but I struggled to give up what I liked. You quit smoking as our kids were growing up. I still remember those annoying habits like leaving your clothes in the bathroom, never switching off the fan while leaving, throwing your socks under the sofa and many more. I got so used to them that I missed putting your clothes in the laundry basket the day you did it on your own. Once when I fractured my hand, you did all the house chores, looked after the kids. I never expected a man to be so helpful and sensitive to his wife. 

The kids grew up and left the nest to explore the greener pastures in life. Loneliness struck me more than ever before. You made it a point to go for evening walks with me, leave the T.V remote for me and even love me more than before. I wonder how you understood my deepest desires and untold pain. You always wanted to know what I like about you, but I never told you I like the complete you. Life without you would be so different. I would have survived but with you I lived.

            Ours was not a perfect marriage. Perfect marriage is not the one in which two people are similar or compatible but it is the one in which two people are willing to bend and love each other. You can fall in love with your partner if you can see how beautifully imperfect they are. You always have the option of making it or breaking, it but the beauty of marriage lies in the fact that it is just not worth a divorce. You have completed my life in a number of ways.

            Today, thirty five years later, I sit with my grandchildren around me. Old, overweight and wrinkled, definitely not the young woman you fell in love with. In all these years you have told me an infinite number of times, in an infinite number of ways about how much you love me. During all these years I never realized my love for you or maybe I didn’t find words to express it. On our thirty fifth wedding anniversary I would like to tell you that I love you more than anything and anybody even more than my children or even more than myself. You are the only man in my life who gave me all that I don’t even deserve. I will love you till I take my last breath. But my only regret is that instead of placing this letter in your hand I will have to place it on your grave.

 

Your fortunate wife,

………………