A Day in my Pitiful Life

What! Is happening why am I getting smaller? Help Me! Did I just shrink where am I? I ' m one inch tall, Oh No! That was the worst day of my pitiful life... 

Now I live life an inch tall. My day is pretty average however the way I go about my day is not so ordinary. I always start off my day with a warm cup of coffee, fresh from the brewer. I waddle downstairs and use a long stairway or a bunch of steps to get up on to the countertop. If I'm tired I will walk up the stairs, but if I feel energetic or in a festive mood then I will hop up the steps. This usually takes me about 20 minutes. Once I reach the top of the mountain I crawl over to the brewer, because I'm usually exasperated. Then take my stick and push the brewer over to my cup. Then I place my miniature cup in the brewer, and sprawl out on the counter top. I wait for a couple of minutes and then I take the cup out and drink with delight. Then I waddle back upstairs...

I then take a sizzling hot shower. To do so I climb up my ladder next to the shower handle then grab the handle and pull with all my might... and fall. Sigh! This happens a couple of times before I finally succeed and get into the shower. Now I jump up my road of shampoo bottles to reach the shower nob. I then turn it on and run back down the shampoo bottles. I lay down waiting for the water to come then I sing rhymes and relax in the hot water. Once I'm as wrinkled as a prune I run up the Shampoo bottles road and turn the nob once again ending my shower... 

I then dress myself which usually takes half an hour then I go downstairs. Once I get downstairs I trot over to my book shelf and use the tower of books I've made as a ladder to get on top of the shelf. Once I'm there I select a book then then go back to the floor using the same tower. Afterwards I jump on my pile of blankets and get onto the sofa. Then I open my book and run up and down the book to read. I read around 200 pages everyday which takes me a couple of hours. Then I put my book back on the shelf and prepare for lunch... 

I Now start on my cooking journey first I gather all my vegetables needed for my stew. Which is the food I eat everyday, then I start cooking. I Gather all my vegetables by going up a series of ladders and stairs. Then I take my big black pot and place it on a burner. To put the pot on the burner I tie a rope around my waist that is tied around the pot to then I move forward. Like an oxen pulling a plow. Then I chop up all my veggies, to do this I place the veggies under the holder for my knife. Then I wear protective padding on my feet dance on top of the knife. Pushing the knife downwards and chopping the vegetables. Then I throw all the veggies into the pot and once again become an oxen and run around the brim of the pot stir the stew. Then I pour it into a bowl then hop on top of my platform and drink the stew from a straw. Then I start my period of relaxation... 

I now go upstairs and sleep until 6:00 pm then I come downstairs and start watching Television. To get the remote I go through my fireplace as its broken. Once I go through my fireplace I end up of a thin slate of Marble. Which is where the TV remote is. I Get the TV remote and go through the fireplace again which deposits me on the floor. I then eagerly run up to the couch hop up my pile of blanket then turn on the TV. To change the channel I jump on the button to go to the next channel. To an outsider it looks like I 'm doing the disco dance. I watch until nighttime and hit the hay...

My routine starts all over the next day. This is a day in my pitiful life...