Wishes

I wish I was better.

I wish I was stronger.

I wish that my hands were steady,

And that my breaths were longer.

I wish I was healthy.

I wish I was youthful.

I wish my skin wasn't so pale,

And that I was more useful.

I wish I glowed with life.

I wish I made you happy.

I wish I could say this out loud,

Without stuttering or sounding sappy.

I wish I made you smile.

I wish you wanted to be nice to me.

I wish you liked being near me,

And that you wanted to spend your life with me.

I wish I was enough.

I wish I was better.

I wish that everything could be fixed,

With just the contents of this letter.

I wish I was the girl,

That you thought I was,

Back when I made you smile,

And you gave me a buzz.

You deny it but I can see,

That you need someone strong,

And I can't make myself healthy,

Though I have wished it for so long.

I wish that I was everything, 

That you needed me to be.

I wish that wishes came true,

And that you were in love with me.

I wish I was stronger.

I wish I was better.

I wish that everything could be fixed, 

With just the contents of this letter.