When I Died Tonight...

When I died tonight...

I found myself, on wings of delirious dreams,

Alive and throbbing,

From my days of boyhood to silent curse of aging,

The place lit up, for my magical brush,

To make any shadow past, come alive,

I found my way again, catacombs and labyrinth,

Each creature gifted with a limited band of senses,

For what lies beyond, is where curtains are drawn,

But does not indicate it is not there,

For life and death are shadow plays,

Of which each of us has a small yet blessed role.

When I died tonight,

The vinyl records were playing songs I had forgotten,

The fountain of confidence, the songs of youth,

Many promises, many kisses, and the aching feeling,

Of heartbreaks and falling in love again,

It all swept over me, as yesterday took me in its arms,

For I was hopelessly drunk once more.

When I died tonight,

I remembered the first true touch of love,

A train missed, a rapturous encounter,

With women unknown,

Maybe a brief time, but the crescendo of symphony unknown,

Still shivers my soul with pleasure,

The cobbled streets of Paris,

Her infectious laughter, a stranger who became,

An enigma, a phantom of unexplored land,

Lovers at first look, the wanderings on the street,

Talking sweet nothings all night,

Thought it would be a lasting relationship for sure,

Made a promise to meet again, a year from the date,

We did meet, again by chance, after a decade,

Me, a writer, signing books, and she, a homemaker,

With equal enthusiasm, we greeted each other,

In our silence lay our comprises and circumstances,

But no regrets, for does love not mean to part also,

For in equal music, lies the promise of meeting maybe again,

More alluring than acquiring the one you love,

But like life, it never happens, the moments we take for granted,

Gets locked in the vaults of our soul, only to rise some days,

As fresh morning rain awakens the yawning buds,

With its pristine freshness, to savor and move on,

I flew past the rainbow once more.

When I died tonight,

My mother was standing, silent and smiling,

All those whom I spent numerous joyous times with,

Were all there, and the warmth of oneness,

The security of a comfort zone, which I had lost,

In my long exile, where I trapezed in the long hours,

Of loneliness and solitude,

My palm withered, grey hairs and crow eyes, said my mirror,

Mocking my countenance,

While I became the prophet and follower both,

The journey and destination, melted in amalgamation,

When a person resides in his past,

Know for sure his bells toll now,

And no regrets had I,

As I transcended to the white light and beyond,

I found myself, stark naked in my soul self once more,

I did not die, I was born again, to a higher realm,

To an eternal peace.