That Summer Day

Claiming the cozy corner

Savoring aromatic blends

Enjoying the soft music

Being serenaded in the background

I did not pretend to enjoy it

 

Gazing at you shamelessly

Watching your unusually genuine emotions

Smiling steadily with all my ears and eyes

Returning and reciprocating your emotions

I did not pretend to feel fortunate.

 

Burning barbecue smoke across the table

Swooshing my eyes to sooth my burning eyes

Helping me hide the fight with my tears

Fumbling to choose my words carefully

I did not pretend to live those candid moments.

 

Looming large and tall amidst all

The question sneakily came and mocked me " ‘til when?"

It interrupted me every now and then

Tried Ignoring it but I couldn’t 

I did not pretend to feel uncomfortable

 

Continued to give in to despair

And struggled trying to figuring out what had to be done   

The glint became a flicker trying to rip my heart out

Uttering gibberish before spouting multiple random words

I did not pretend to feel the pain it caused to me

 

Making my way to a torrent of emotions

Opening the fresh wounds

And pouring out the hidden shadows of guilt 

Becoming free of my worn out self

I did not pretend that nothing would be the same again.

 

Pirouetting within myself

before dusting the forbidden impurities

And removing the festered clutter of wounds

Before saving myself from the danger

I did not pretend that I knew how to end it all

 

The blistering heat of that summer sun

Brought forth pristine clarity before me

And warned me of the impending ruins within my life

Walking me past the illusion of mirth

I did not pretend that I chose to start a new beginning