Now You See Me, Now You Don'T
Now You See Me, Now You Don'T5 mins 14.2K 5 mins 14.2K
Your eyes blink in sync with the knives you push into my soul
So now you see me
Now, you are far away, but staring
Scrutiny in every glance
Probably measuring the size of the gladness and excitement that my existence could offer you
My existence, that was, that is
But you plan to let it not be
Maybe you’re just jealous
Jealous of my laughter thundering upon the storming, pearl white tides
And through the wilderness
Right into the centre of the forest- damp, dark forest
Dark like your thoughts, dark is your plan.
Now, you don’t see me
You don’t see that I have a head, four limbs, two eyes, two ears
A heartbeat, a breath - I’m alive.
I’m living-alive but dead.
Because, now, you are here
In my territory, inside the barbed wire fence that has signboards
In red, bold font asking you to “STOP”
Stop your eyes looking through my clothes
Stop your hands grazing my body
Stop that terrible breath
Because it stinks worse than your false pretence
It stops my fragrance from spreading
I do not beg you to stop
I order you to stop
I order you to stop your blaming me
Stop your blaming him
Stop your blaming her
Nobody asked for it.
My clothes did not ask for it.
Pardon my doubt
But tell me how you accuse the Drape of Rape?
If my knee length skirt or my tight shirt asks you to exploit me
I’d start wearing a book, because you are mistaken, ignorant, uneducated
Unworthy to say that she brought it upon herself
She must have been unafraid, because it was ice cold December
Her clothes didn’t ask for it
If you did want a “NO” you should’ve have looked into her eyes
Her tears that flowed down her cheeks
Onto your open hands
Gliding across the lines on your palms
Lines that once prophesied how rich and successful a person you would become
You chose to be an animal
A rich person-
Alas, you find riches under other’s lockers of flesh and bones
Not only her. You devastated him too.
The atrocities you asphyxiated him with
Forced him to kneel down when he dreamt of towering heights
Trying to be a man like the society wanted him to be, but crawled in his chrysalis
You robbed him too.
You took away from him the choice to be proud of his masculinity
He is cringing at the mere graze of another skin on his own
In this crowded city when he pushes his way through empty people
He is cringing
His eyes are flooding
Her lips are trembling
What do you see?
You see you
You don’t see me now
Now that I am in your hands
You don’t see that through your tightening fist
I’m oozing out like sand
It’s over, so you leave
But, oh the irony
The monster cares for an apology?
Mere words that you blurt out
Like the empty Amen after the brief prayers
That you mouth
Your mouth-deceitful liar
Lies are when you tell me to suffer in silence
Suffer? But why?
You claim that the price of my silence is golden
I say I don’t need your gold
I won’t stay silent
Who are you to command my being to succumb to your waste of space?
Why do you think that I would think that we connect?
We don’t - accept the truth
The truth is that I am not obligated to return your rib to you
Because I have the rib of a man
I have the smile of my father
I am his daughter
He used to tell me stories
What do you tell your daughter?
I have the eyes of my mother
I am her son
She used to bathe me, clothe me
Your son would be so ashamed
Ashamed? I am sorry for you
Ashamed is your father who taught you to walk
When you hung onto his finger by your little hands
You hold onto your toys’ necks
Them dangling, throttled in your emotionless grasp
Ashamed is your mother inside whose womb fireworks created you
And your first cry was like the song of angels, gleeful and triumphant
But you turned out to be devil, my friend
I am born of that same beautiful spark
Inside another mother’s womb
Who cried the same tears when she held me
But you cannot see
Because now, that you need to
You don’t understand that our fingernails bruising your skin is not the only weapon we have
Our screams are not our only resort
Scream you will in agony when you go back into the same dust that you and we are made of
Funny it is
And you thought you would remain stronger
But that same strength will prove your weakness
When the Mother Earth rejects your decaying corpse because you
Never were alive
You would scream for a safe place inside the claustrophobic walls of the coffin
But the same monsters that dwelled within you
Will consume you
You will no longer be you
We will no longer be us
But we will live anyhow, struggling, emerging stronger
But you, who salivated at the sight of skin
Will be answerable
Answerable to someone beyond the reach of your lusting grasp
The pinching echo that you can’t silence with a few bucks under the table
Your tongue dripped bitter honey, darling
But how will that tongue respond when He asks you
How much wealth did you gather by robbing souls?
You could have been a human
You could have been my friend
But you are oblivious of the fact that
Inflicting hell doesn’t guide you to heaven
Now you see me, now you don’t.