Goodbye Letters

I spent so many restless nights,

To concoct the perfect goodbye.

Trying to carefully choose-

The last words I would leave,

To my family and friends.

Trying to find a way to explain,

Why I felt like I couldn’t

Be here anymore.

But I couldn’t.

I couldn’t put a word limit,

On how much they meant to me.

I just kept typing,

Apologizing for everything,

Reassuring them it wasn’t their fault,

Trying to fit all of me-

Onto this tiny paper.

And so I'm stuck,

I have the options of continuing,

To hurt me or endlessly,

Hurt everyone I love.

And that’s why I’m still here.

I am here to absorb,

As much pain as

I possibly can.

In an attempt to lessen,

The damages on them.

I really want to leave,

I just want to leave without

Causing more pain.