Seeking Numbness

Seeking numbness

I did not want to hurt anymore

So I settled for myself

I pull it to my lips

It fills my mouth

Flows down my throat

The flame reignited in my lungs

It’s a slow burn as my lungs fill

One breath and they collapse

The fires out and the burning fades

I breathe out the remains

It leaves my mouth bitter

But I'm calmer than before

Another inhale and

The world slows

The ember falls

Taking my worries with it

But it’s only temporary

The burning stops

The bitter taste fades

The calm ceases

And the worries come flooding back

My hands

My hair

My clothes

Coated in the scent 

But the feelings have gone

Just one more

Don't think about it

Pull it to your lips

And breathe in