Depression

Depression.

One word.

Pretty easy to say.

But what you don't know

That it controls my day

'Just get over it' people say

I wish I could find a way

Living with it day by day

Many feelings of dismay

Memories won't go away

I hope the Lord will show me the way.

I want to scream

I want to die

I want to flood out tears from my eye

I want to stop burning from within

Stop cutting up my skin

It's not a paper

Nor the blade is a pen

But I'm an artist

And I can't quit

Every cut, a step closer to finish my art

Once this happens

The colors soon fade

As if they were dead

But when the color heals

Back to the chapter

I can't tell how it feels.

Do you know a life of loneliness

And filled with pain

Living life with nothing to gain

Surrounded by darkness

Overwhelmed by shame.

Do you know a person so called me

Behind the mask

I hides the hurt, hides the pain

Hides the tears that falls like rain

I say I'm fine when I'm actually not

The ache in my soul rips at my gut.

Obviously,

You would never know it.

The constant pain I feel,

I don't even get time to heal.

But they say,

'You will be happy one day'.

What can I tell them

These silent screams carry no words

It's just the feeling of lonesomeness

And the darkness that comes in herds.

For me

Holding happiness is like holding water in the hands,

It just trickles between your fingers and disappears into the sands.

I can't explain how it feels,

It's so extreme

So I hold my mouth to hide my silent scream

Can you listen to these screams?

But they are so loud that they echo in my dreams.

Over the mask

There is a smile on my face,

Hiding my disgrace.

The unbearable pain of broken dreams,

I kept crying through my silent screams.

At last,

The only thing hardly I could have said,I

It is like tasting death before being dead.