A Lifeless Void

I swallowed down the lump, trying so hard not to cry

After all, I promised myself I won't let go without a single try

The first tear rolled down, I quickly wipe it off so no one could notice.

Looked at everyone and faked a smile, so I don't lose it. 

The second tear rolled down, I looked down so it falls straight in my lap, 

This time I took of my glasses and rubbed my eyes so it looks like a mishap

The third tear rolled down, I quickly excused myself and went to the restroom

"Not the right time", I chanted but the tears, they dared not to listen. 

And then rolled tear after tear, and came sob after sob, I bite my fingers so I don't make a sound, hoping no one would hear and no one was around. 

I don't think I could handle the torture anymore, 

Especially what I am going through it gets worse

More and more with each second.

Its been so long that I have almost started living

But those little memories of you almost faded yet surviving, 

The noise of your laugh almost forgotten yet reliving

These little things about you are just what have been remaining

I don't know what to do in times like this, how to handle the broken mess that you have made me. 

So I just sit on the cold tiled floor alone or sometimes with friends like your memories

And think about where it went wrong and how much did it take, for you to realize neither you love me nor you hate me.