Dad! Are You There?

Hey Dad! 

How about staying alone in a place, from where you can only see us. Maybe there are so many people around you, but I am sure you wanted to be with us, right here on earth in this house. But they say it all depends on that unknown mysterious power called God. He is the creator and He is the destroyer. If he can create something, he can even destroy too. He created you and took you back. Nobody knows about that place either it is Heaven or Hell. And I don't know either where you are. I know only one thing that you are gone too early. 

    You know Dad so many things have been changed since you are gone. You had fixed bro's wedding date, and the wedding has been functioned on the same date, cause it was the only thing to divert our mind from you. That date 8th August of 2019 is neither memorable nor I can forget. I can recall the entire scene, you were on your bed calmly sleeping, and so many uncles were sitting on the floor with melancholic expressions on their face. Ladies were consoling mother, she was crying, crying and only crying. I couldn't find my brother, I tried to find him and he was silently sitting in another room. He was quiet. He was not crying. When he saw me coming towards him, he asked, "is dad sleeping? he will wake up and talk to us very soon."

I was witnessing everything, I wasn't a kid anymore to understand that you are not alive. But I didn't want to believe this fact, everything was happening around me, and I was like experiencing a nightmare. Tears were flowing down and I was performing every ritual told by elders. They took your body and they said it was your last bathing ceremony. They wore you new semi stitched cloth and bound you with a rope on a wooden stretcher. People were crying around you, and some aunties came to me and said, "dear child go and see your father for last time." I was still in confusion about surrounding activities. 

They take your sleeping body for the cremation, females were not allowed to go there, so we were far from cremation place, and I was seeing the flames, my heart, my mind was not believing in all the things which were happened around me. People around me told me to stop crying, as I am older than my brother so it's my duty to console my mother and brother. It was night, all most people were gone to their houses, there were only a few close relatives who were here to console us. I couldn't sleep. After everything passing minute I was looking towards the door with a hope, that you will come Dad if you found the door locked maybe you will be angry at us. I was just hoping of coming you and I promised myself that I will never let you go anywhere. 

In the early morning, brother was not at home, he was at the cremation place. He was sitting near your burning ashes and crying badly. People brought him back home. His emotions were not in his control. I wanted to cry out loud, but all the aunties didn't let me do this. 

On the third day we all had gone to cremation place to collect the remaining bones, which couldn't be burnt, and ashes of you Dad. I, mom and bro were collecting them, still it was unbelievable. I was regretting to cremate your body, now there was no hope of returning you. We collected the ashes and bones, and let them flow in the water at your favorite place - Nanankmata.

 With passing days we have accepted the fact that you are not alive, you have gone to that place from where nobody returns. But inside we are not able to believe that you are not with us. Every situation reminds of you, dad I miss you every day and night. I wanted to live more with you. I want to tell you that I have started to write. I told you that I want to be a writer, and later mom told me that you had read my writings and you liked them, moreover you told her that our daughter will do something good in this field. 

Dad, we miss you. Our happiness is incomplete without you. I miss our arguments, I miss our laughs, I miss your appreciation, I miss your love, I miss everything, Dad.