The WHY dilemma

I know love is hard. More so over when you’re falling for a person, a man in uniform, fully and passionately dedicated to his motherland. And to top it up who is slow and reserved with his relations. All the poems, books and lectures about how you can know he is not into you and how to tell if he is playing you start to make no sense when you are in this particular setup.

It's only been 8 months that we are talking and 4 months of the weekend going out and a sprinkle of intimacy with a lot of emotional confusion. Where I gather the last bit of gut I have to spill out my feeling, he just hugs me tight and lets the heard gathered gut with a question “why?”. The “whys” are and has always been difficult for me to answer.

“Why do you think your answer is correct?”, “why do you need this job?”, and to top it all “why do you like me?”.

I don’t think I have has a very good relationship with all the whys…

“I studied, that’s WHY I think the answer is correct”, “I need to get paid and earn my own living”. How can you find a reason to like someone, I guess those thongs just happens. Like fate. If I had known why I like you, I could have unliked you and could save a pressable heartbreak. Even if I start thinking that would need time and the list wouldn’t be any close to the finish. So how does one expect to get an answer to that in that split second.

All I could think that time was “because I like” (wallah as if I hadn’t established that earlier), “and I feel safe with you”.