The Revelation

As soon as I arrived, I could sense that something was out of place. Mr. Blake, the school principal, was sitting at his desk, examining a couple of papers. My mother along with Mrs. Smith, the school counselor, was sitting in front of Mr. Blake, their back towards me. My mother rarely came to school like that so I knew something had happened.

Mrs. Smith saw me approaching and directed everyone’s attention toward me. Unlike most of the time, my mother looked very tired, her eyes looked heavy. All the possible interpretations of the situation were coming to my mind, making my heart sink with each thought.

They made me sit on the couch nearby. My mother came and sat by my side and held my hand. I was barely holding onto myself with all those thoughts going on in my mind. I wanted to burst into questions, needing answers to them all.

My mother, stroking my hand, said in a hushed voice, “Sweetheart, I love you so much.” Her voice seemed so much weighted and cold that I just hugged her tight and told her that I loved her.

She continued, my heart was sinking deeper and deeper “So, it has been a while since all these things started. I never knew that it could be this worse. Sometimes there are a lot of things which are not under our control, we aren’t even the reason for such things happening to us but still, we have to get through ---”

“Mom” I interrupted, “I beg of you, please tell me clearly what has happened”

“Honey” she continued, “I know it will be a big shock and it's going to be very difficult for you but I know that you will make it through it. Whatever happens, I’m always by your side.” 

Her eyes were filled with tears. She was trying her best to hold them back but the tears started to roll down her cheeks, “I and your father are getting divorced. He wants to end his relations with us and go to a different city, far from us. Today is the court hearing where you will probably be able to meet him for the last time…”

I was paralyzed. It felt as if I have stopped breathing and my heart has stopped pumping blood into the arteries. 

She was still saying something but I was not able to hear her. I could see Mrs. Smith and Mr. Blake say something but everything was a blur.

I loved him more than anyone else. He was my best friend. Why would he not love me and leave me like this? Am I that bad? Had he faked all the love over so many years, or he just suddenly lost all his love for me, for my mother?



Millions of questions were flooding my mind, all with self-criticism and the feeling of abandonment. I felt deceived. The grief of losing my father in such a way was taking over me.

All I did was hug my mother and tear up in her arms, tell her that I’m always with her no matter what. I consoled her and told her that everything will be fine and I will always be with her. 

Even still, after one year of their separation, there is something in me that always feels empty, that will always be empty. I have never seen my father after the day he came home to pack up all his things after the court hearing. He never looked into my eyes, never said a word, and he left. He left us like that for ever.

I wanted to ask him about so many things. I needed answers to all my questions. I wanted to shout and scream but i couldn't. There was a lump in my throat that was not letting my voice to come out of my mouth. I wanted to run and stop him and then hug him until I could convince him to stay, until i could make him remember his love for us, our love for him, that he cannot just leave us like that, but i couldn't. My legs felt too heavy to move, my hands felt too heavy to lift. My heart kept on sinking deeper, and that was when I knew, it will remain sunken my whole life.

“Divorce is a journey that the children involved do not ask to take. They are forced along for a ride where the results are dictated by the road their parents decide to travel.” -Diane Greene