Red-The Root Chakra (Sense Of Belonging)

The Blockage

“You get red, and I give you roots,” it hissed and slithered down over her neck to the ground. Her whole body shivered as she felt the ice rolling over her bareback and waist. It coiled over her lower spine, with its eyes fixed on hers. She squinted as its glass eyes reflected the sunlight brightly on her face. It layered motionlessly around her, putting its dead weight on the already weak knees. She tried to push it away and get up and move, but the weight was too much for her to set aside. She eventually decided to give up and remain still. She was stuck. Freedom was a far-fetched desire and a long journey ahead, she realized. Her mind drifted into a valley of Red, the colour of blood, the root of all life forces. She has to find the roots, and the serpent says, “the blood you bring will reap the roots you belong.”

“The blockage is at the base of the spine. Your Root Chakra is blocked”

She remembered vividly what the Guru said when she had visited him in his isolated hut deep in the woods far away from civilization.

His words, his presence, his aura was all unrealistic for Sheila. She had wandered into his hut after getting lost in the Manali forest, separated from her co-trekkers. The hut was strangely warm in the otherwise stormy cold night. She was exhausted and dropped weakly on the ground next to the Guru’s seat immediately. Feebly, she murmured “Guruji. Help” before fainting.

When she woke up, it was way past midnight. She found herself on the ground near a crackling fire with Guruji chanting the mantras on his seat. He suddenly stopped chanting, looked straight into her eyes and said, “ You have had a misfortunate life. The complexities of your life, entangled with your trauma, has caused blockages within you.” Sheila was taken aback by his sudden outburst.

“It's associated with core survival needs related to food, water, and safety. They are usually caused by generational trauma, self timeline trauma linked to uprooting from the core. Events that threatened survival, sense of belonging. Confront the events that lead to the closing of this chakra. Figure out the things that threaten your survival. Meet your needs of being connected, to belong, to feel safe. Find people, places, and something that meets the above requirements—symbiotic relations.

Accept the survival fear, deal with it, and do not disown them. Connect with Earth. Physical body to non-physical.” he added. 

“But, I am fine Guruji. There aren't any solid misfortunes as you say,” she muttered. 

“You are disconnected from your roots, floating around aimlessly, looking for a sense of belonging. Isn’t it my child? Don’t you seek grounding and acceptance? “

His words struck her like a lightning bolt. “Yes, I do. I do so much.” She said to herself. “I have been looking for an anchor all my life, but each time I find one, it slips off my slippery hands, none of them stays, either they drown me with them or release and abandon me to float in the air without strings. I long for the earth, I long for a strong rope that binds me to the ground. I want an assurance that I belong” perplexed she found herself speaking aloud with tears rolling down her cheeks. The shock of speaking to a complete stranger about her innermost fear dissolved in moments as she sobbed and bared her heart in front of the Guruji.

“Being vulnerable is the most courageous act, it's not for the weak,” Guruji said softly. 

“I can help you, my child, but you have to find your own path. I will appoint a guide for you. The guide is free-willed and I have no control over its basic instincts. You will have to control it to obtain what it seeks. That is the only way to your salvation. The guide will ask for a task to be done to test your will and your determination in the face of obstacles. If you can overcome them, you will get what you desire. But let me warn you, it's not easy. Are you willing to take the challenge?” he asked.

“I will do as the guide says” Sheila assured. She was desperate to do anything that resolved her burden, even a little. And so that is how she got her guide, the Serpent.

The TaskSheila’s khakis were unusually long and heavy for today’s trek. The thick material kept pulling her down with the thighs rubbing against them, causing friction. The acidic sweat sizzled like metal on fire with the oozing blood aggravating the sticky feeling. Thankfully the shoes were comfortable and easy to climb on the rocky terrain. Her blouse and hair were drenched in the humid sweat, but the occasional breeze did cool her soul a bit. She looked up at the hot, blazing Sun. It is too early for the Sun to be so hot, she thought. 

“The destination is a C-shaped valley surrounded by tall mountains on three sides and an open gateway on the fourth side.” She went through the mental map once more. The climb was rough on the steep, hot rocky mountain with nothing but grooves to hold for support. If only she had got time to study the area before she was pushed into this adventure, she sighed. 

But, now it was a point of no return, and she had to move forward. Gathering all her wits and taking a deep breath, she started her ascent on the mountain. Making her way through the tiny grooves in the rocks, she dug into the little spaces as much as she could to balance her hands and feet to pull herself all the way, cursing the day she agreed to take this journey on the serpent’s insistence.“Damn, how does the serpent climb these rocks? Does its cold skin burn on hot, glassy rocks?” She wondered. She shrugged the thought away and continued upwards, thirsty and dehydrated.

“Why are you such a cry baby, Sheila? Why can't you ever be happy?” her mother’s disgusted face and equally disgusted tone ran through her ears. A little Sheila flashed before her eyes, who sat under the table crying, at the loss of her darling doll since morning, waiting for her mother to take her in her arms and pat her back. But the mother was upset, very upset. “Maybe because I lost the pretty doll in the garden”, her little mind tried to reason. “I didn't intend to lose her mommy. The big dog jumped on me and snatched her away. I tried to rescue her, but he was a very big dog, mommy.” she muttered, the broken words fell off between her sobs. But, her Mommy had already left the room and there was no one to console her and hug her. “I miss you my dolly,” she whispered.

The day was getting tougher with each passing hour. The unforgiving Sun and the rough terrain were both teaming against her to give up on her mission and go back. But, she was determined to complete the task that she had signed up for. “Only, for a few more hours.” She encouraged herself with all her spare energy and continued the ascent.

After two hours of her miserable climbing, she reached the top of the mountain. “Now, it should be easy to roll down the hill to reach the valley,” She thought. But, alas, it was even more dreadful to walk down the hill into the valley. She slipped and tumbled over multiple places, hurting and wounding herself badly. “Blood is the colour of Red. You bleed to get Red” She heard the Serpent’s words echoing in her ears. 

“Look at your sisters, see how happy and full of life they are.” Her dear father said scornfully one day, hinting at her sickly body and pale eyes. “No doubt, my sisters were rosy and had blood down their chubby cheeks, that exuded happiness and blissfulness. But, that's because they are happy and I somehow am not” she complained to herself. “Papa I can’t control my sadness, it seems to never go away. I am trying very hard Papa, but I can't lift the dead weight off my shoulders. Please help me, Papa. I need you.” She reached out her frail arms to hug her Papa, but he left her alone in the room, never turning back. It took a long time to understand the symptoms of depression and its uncontrolled grip on one's mind. “If only Papa had hugged me that day and taken care of my mind with warmth and affection.” she sighed.

She was bleeding profusely as she glided over the broken tree trunk that was obstructing her path. Sharp twigs and leaves penetrated her skin, drawing blood out of her wounds. She resembled a freakishly skinned chicken approaching the mouth of the cave that the serpent mentioned. Thirsty and hungry after treading the awful terrain for hours, she thankfully reached the mountain shade under the canopies of centuries-old banyan trees. She landed softly on the red mud at the cave entrance. The shadow and the cold earth provided the much-needed respite from the horrible climb and descent experienced since the day broke today. She drank the cold water from her thermos and dozed off. 

“She is a very haughty, snobbish young lady. Not suitable for our hardworking boy.” They all said. This was the time when Raya had made an offer to her to marry him. Although he had selected her, she was not deemed fit for the family, or that’s what they all thought unanimously. If that’s what they think about me, I surely must lack the default qualities that a typical, normal bride must possess. she asserted herself. With judgements and malice as presents, she had stepped into a hostile household that didn't think highly of herself. “I wish my Mommy and Papa would forgive me for all my deeds and hope that they find out that their daughter is just out of alignment and depressed. She herself is tired of the situation and would like to come out. But, please, all of you, would you love me and accept me for who I am, for once?”

It was dusk when she heard a voice calling out to her from a distance, and a cold, shiny tail slithered over her head. The tail was brown and golden with triangle and diamond shapes over it. Startled, she got up and sat on her bums, wide-eyed, trying to adjust to the dim dusk light. She saw the Serpent at the cave entry, calling her out to go inside for the task assigned for the day. She suddenly remembered her presence and the intention. Well, I am in a dusty, dry raven. So be it. So it is. She got up on her two feet and dusted the lethargy off her body and soul. The red soil flew with the winds making small whirlwinds in pockets of low-pressure areas. She navigated through those wind dances and walked towards the entrance of the cave. The serpent was coiled in the middle of the entrance with its head rolled over his body in the centre. She checked the glass bottle from her backpack. It was a small empty glass bottle with a golden lid with a serpent embossed on it. The touch of the cold glass bottle intact was assuring as she moved forward to enter the cave.

When they asked her about herself, she couldn't set the roots in the right place. Either the soil was too damp or it was too dry. Her roots could never be planted normally and they always withered away due to lack of attention and affection. She tried hard to find the right soil and the water stream to plant herself and flourish. “Where do you belong from?” they asked her jokingly. “Nowhere” she replied melancholily. 

The cave was dark as expected. The acidic air and the humidity inside blazed her wounded body agonisingly. Her bloody body was screaming for help and relief, but her mind wouldn't allow it. Every moment the body overtook the reason, it was reminded about the sleeping serpent at the cave entrance. “You bring me Red, She gives you Roots” She heard the Serpents' voice inside her head. The emptiness in its voice sent shivers down her spine. She looked around the cave as she ventured deeper into its uneven rocky floors. The walls of the cave were damp and slimy. “Ouch!” she screamed as she twisted her ankle at the mouth of a narrow alley inside. The pain was as sharp as an arsenal. As she tried to grab the walls to avoid a fall, the slime on it made her grip all the more impossible. The weird smell of the muck and its colour made a striking impression on her. She rubbed her hands to her blouse and limped further.

The cave suddenly reached an abrupt end with a pool of red water. That part of the cave was lit in red light. She could see red goop oozing into the puddle from the ceilings. The pool was filthy that smelled like stale rotting blood.“You will find a hole into which heaven bleeds,” the Serpent had told her. “From there, you gather the Red.” 

The thought of dipping her hands into that slime was nauseating. But, there was no other way not to do it. So she moved closer to the pool, rolled up her sleeves, bent over on her knees, and dipped the opened bottle into it.

The sludge filled the bottle in seconds. She tried hard not to throw up and pulled away from the disgusting pool as far as she could after filling the bottle. She closed it and safely tucked it into the backpack.

The forgotten roots and the belongings were now in her backpack that was now heavy with the bottle. The slime was all over her body, and her hands were red wet. The smell killed her in the guts, with all the stomach acids raring to come out with force. She swallowed the acids back into her guts and turned away towards the cave entrance.

The cave was darker as compared to when she walked in. The scent was getting more intense with each passing moment. Her hurting ankle didn't make things simpler. Each step was equivalent to a thousand steps as she traversed back to the cave entrance. As she approached it, she could see the Serpent still lying at its entrance, coiled with its head down in the center.

“Mommy, Papa I missed you a lot. You nourished me, but in your own way. You spoiled me, but in your own way. You planted my roots but then forgot to water them with love and affection. They cried to stay alive, but the soil got too dry and it sucked the moisture out. I wanted you to understand me non-judgmentally for once, and accept me for who I am versus who you wanted me to be. We all belonged to different planes with no intersections in between. My belonging is you and you only.” “ You are my Red, my Roots”. 

She dashed for the entrance and almost sprinted with her broken ankle for the last few metres. The slime made the dash slippery, due to which she tripped again and fell. She was face down when she heard the familiar hiss in her ears and a cold tongue over her neck. Her whole body retracted and rolled over to get away from its mean and deadly touch. The Serpent had climbed on her back. It was inside her backpack, sniffing the bottle.

She threw the backpack on the ground with the Serpent still attached to it. It had protectively shielded the bottle by circling the centre of its body around it. Its eyes were brighter than usual “ The Red; you finally are here,” it hissed. Sheila collapsed on the ground. The suffocating smell twisted her guts to no end repeatedly as she threw up on the red soil. 

The moon was up in the sky as she laid there and watched the Serpent carry the bottle away into the dark, silent valley.

The OpeningSheila was dipped in the colour red from head to toe and was sitting in a most beautiful garden, covered with only red coloured flowers. Her mind was in a meditative state chanting the mantra “Lam” in a rhythm defined by the sages all over the garden. The fresh air, the smell of roses, the sound, the colour red; it was mystical. She swung to the mantra, devouring the taste of red apples and red cherries. The memories from the day before, rolled before her eyes, clearly as if watching a movie.

After the serpent left her last night. She laid on the ground for a long time under the moonlight. The soft earthy soil wrapped around her body, and the roots of the tree supported her spine. She turned on her stomach, felt the earth, surrendered herself to the mother and kissed the tree roots gratefully. The earth, the roots, the moon, everything conspired to give her back her sense of belonging. The magical powers from the unimaginable task that she had just completed, gave her a strange sense of gratitude. The strength of gratefulness, the power of forgiveness. It was overwhelming. The night, the earth, the trees, all showered motherly affection over her. She got up and stood on her two legs, now with rejuvenating confidence, filled her lungs with air and called raising her arms upwards to the universe 

“I forgive you. I have dropped all my rejections. I give you back all my resentments and hurt. For I am grateful to you dear Universe for all the abundance in my life. I Thank You for the opulence and grace. Thank You so much!” 

There is no power more powerful than the power of Gratitude; the Serpent hissed, licking the remains from the red glass bottle. 

“The red blood running in your veins is enough to be grateful for. Belong to it forever. The Guru blessed her.

Sheila smiled at the delirious memory of last night and continued chanting the mantra “Lam” with peace and gratefulness in her heart. 

Backstory

The cave and the task was symbolic of her introspection, where the physical wounds mirrored her hurt and resentments. She clearly understood her lack of perception in the given situations. 

An act is simply an act. It's the perception that makes it right or wrong.

Her negative perception of the acts was deeply rooted in her tender mind negatively. The sludge and the awful smell made her realize that things could have been worse, and they were not so bad after all. Her desires for love weren't altogether ignored; she did receive it, although lesser, she did receive it. And for this, she was grateful.

Finally, she handed over the bottle of negativity and misunderstandings to the Serpent, her consciousness which drank the potent poison, digesting it forever! 

She now belonged... To herself.