Plagued Or Uninhibited By Love

It's oddly intriguing and tantalizing how love guides you towards a virtual paradise. I cannot fathom the fact that true love is just so perfect and ultimate. It's almost like a clash of multiple feelings and emotions that drive your mood and mind. I personally felt it, and I was completely overwhelmed with that feeling. I'm not a philosopher to be able to explain that feeling because according to me words are not sufficient to explain the true nature of love. Its a feeling worth savoring, exploring and experiencing. It is oneness of heart and mind. A blend of rather frivolous feelings-elation, excitement, joyfulness, longingness sometimes thrilling.

You know its love when your heart begins to palpitate just with a sight of your loved one. I say it with utmost honesty and genuineness that love is magical, it's mystical. My experience of love is a long one which gives me an adrenaline rush every time I sit back and reminisce my memories. The one which helped me overcome my inhibitions. But It too has its pros and cons just like a coin has two sides to it. The problems and insecurities that come with it seem to be highlighted when nothing feels right in togetherness. Companionship is contemplated as a burden. When negative factors begin to invade your peace of mind, it brings along resentment and unhappiness. There comes a point when the relationship hits a plateau, nothing seems right and the activities of your partner begin to bother you even worsening the situation.

Probably that's how it struck me. In my scenario, I started brooding a lot. I became more presumptuous and utterly baffled as to what is going to be the ultimatum of this relationship. And the fact that it sabotaged our mental peace led to unsolicited fights, blaming and even temporary hatred for each other. I began emphasizing on the details of my confrontations while her's always seemed fatuous and inane. They say -With love comes understanding, I say our relationship began to feel like a contradiction of this statement. Our humongous egos withdrew us from taking initiative towards any possible amendments that were required. The bond eventually weakened and became fragile and the daily rants officially halted it. The later phase is just so miserable and the distress it brings along is collateral.

Mocked by our fates, this journey felt bleak. I was in complete denial. I remember how poetic and beautiful the journey was when we commenced. How we became so fond of each other and in spite of the disparities connected so smoothly. The love we exuded for each other was so unconditional. And the instinctive pamperings never seemed to end. The manifestations of emotions that we shared and still preserve bring about a flood of magnificent memories. It's saddening how I belittled her and the ramifications for the same still keep coming along. I wish it could go back to the time when a hug could end all miseries, the time when making her feel special was a priority, when her mere existence had the potential to give me goosebumps when togetherness was not so arduous, And especially the time when it was never taken for granted.

I miss the time when our friendship was free of any complications and it was beyond any explanations. The thought of surviving through this grieving phase is daunting. But yes, I do believe in love with all my might and it is undivided for one. I also believe that love, if it's true can never turn into loathing given the circumstances. With time the tenderness may fade but the worthiness and love for your partner prevail. Also, I'm envious of how her thoughts still command my mind and my course of action sometimes but I'm kind of used to it now.

Rather I can't imagine not waking up to such ambiguous thoughts and commencing my day. After self-realization, the sense of being altruistic comes now. The obsession and the possessiveness don't truly rest. Anyhow, my equation with her is elusive but just a thought of potentially having her again is beautiful. Hence, I am utterly confused if I'm plagued or uninhibited by this phenomenon called love. It's a question worth pondering over.